I Watched Every Barbie Movie Ever Made

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Published 2024-03-02
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In this video I embarked on the greatest challenge yet: Watching every Barbie movie ever made and constructed a theory that discovers the true lore of Barbie, all while maintaining my sanity. Enjoy!

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Custom Music by Oval: @OvalMusic
Outro: Pls Proceed by Baron Grand
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FMC (Frequently Made Comments):

"Ted doesn't know about modern monarchies like the U.K."

I'm aware of the fact that there are monarchies in the world today. What I was trying to figure out was if Mirabella was an "absolute monarchy," as in the monarch is the sole legislative power in the nation. In the case of something like the United Kingdom, that is a constitutional monarchy where the monarch has very little, to almost zero power in the actual workings of the government. There are 7 countries in the world today with absolute monarchies, and one of them funnily enough is The Vatican.

"I cannot believe that he rated _____ so low"

I would not take my actual numbered ratings too seriously, as they can seriously be crippled by both the moral and sidekick ratings - which, honestly, are totally ridiculous categories to judge the movies and half the time I gave a zero if they didn't have them. If you are a Barbie fanatic, and genuinely liked a movie that I rated low, I'd suggest taking my "Barbie" and "Story" ratings, and then make that number out of 10. That's probably a more "real" rating for the Barbie movie.

CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
0:57 - The Plan
2:53 - Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001)
4:42 - Barbie as Rapunzel (2002)
5:41 - Barbie of Swan Lake (2003)
6:44 - Barbie as the Princess & The Pauper (2004)
8:13 - Lore Overview - Day 1
10:05 - Day 2
10:32 - Barbie: Fairytopia (2005)
11:59 - Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (2005)
13:12 - Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia (2006)
14:28 - The Barbie Diaries (2006)
27:08 - Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses (2006)
28:17 - Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow (2007)
29:25 - Barbie as the Island Princess (2007)
30:49 - Barbie Mariposa (2008)
31:58 - Barbie and the Diamond Castle (2008)
33:29 - Barbie in ‘A Christmas Carol’ (2008)
34:16 - Barbie Presents: Thumbelina (2009)
35:05 - Barbie and the Three Musketeers (2009)
36:42 - Lore Overview - Day 2
38:06 - Day 3
39:15 - Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010)
39:58 - Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale (2010)
41:20 - Barbie: A Fairy Secret (2011)
42:19 - Barbie: Princess Charm School (2011)
43:23 - Barbie: A Perfect Christmas (2011)
44:23 - Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2 (2012)
45:13 - Barbie: The Princess & The Popstar (2012)
59:09 - Barbie in The Pink Shoes (2013)
1:00:02 - Barbie: Mariposa and the Fairy Princess (2013)
1:01:13 - Barbie & Her Sister in a Pony Tale (2013)
1:02:31 - I am struggling
1:04:07 - Lore Overview - Day 3
1:06:40 - Day 4
1:07:07 - Barbie: The Pearl Princess (2013)
1:08:14 - Barbie in The Secret Door (2014)
1:09:19 - Barbie in Princess Power (2015)
1:10:33 - Barbie in Rock ‘N Royals (2015)
1:11:33 - Barbie & her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure (2015)
1:12:51 - Barbie: Spy Squad (2016)
1:13:51 - Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016)
1:15:07 - Barbie & Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase
1:28:29 - Lore Overview - Day 4
1:30:16 - Day 5
1:30:37 - Barbie Video Game Hero (2017)
1:31:52 - Barbie: Dolphin Magic (2017)
1:32:32 - Barbie Princess Adventure (2021)
1:33:47 - Barbie and Chelsea: The Lost Birthday (2021)
1:34:34 - Barbie: Big City Big Dreams (2022)
1:35:18 - Day 6
1:35:37 - Barbie: Mermaid Power (2022)
1:36:12 - Barbie: Epic Road Trip (2022)
1:37:29 - Barbie: Skipper and the Big Babysitting Adventure (2023)
1:38:20 - Final Lore Overview
1:40:47 - Ted’s BCU Theory
1:46:57 - Finale

All Comments (21)
  • @AuroraIceFlame
    “THE HIVEMIND OWNS THAT FUCKING TOWN” Ted said calmly
  • @Gretchendmt
    12 dancing princesses can only be appreciated when youre 8 and have the plastic floor mat of their magic rug that plays music when you stand on it
  • @idkanymore1666
    he's too insane nobody tell him abt Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse
  • Princess charm school is actually insane because it’s the only Barbie movie I can think of where they FULLY STATE that the main villain actually MURDERED Barbie’s biological parents. I love that. So fucking crazy for a kids movie.
  • @wren1185
    I have beef with your 12 dancing princesses rating, that shit is a masterpiece.
  • @wiiink
    calling Bibble the embodiment of gluttony and greed was something I was not ready for
  • @ianyates2965
    The fact that the theory makes total sense while at the same time having no relation to the live action movie is so perfect its indescribable
  • @izzie43547
    "Just finished Barbie Fairytopia, wtf is a Bibble" basically sums up the whole movie
  • @MD-cz1en
    i clicked on this video thinking it would be a fun, silly time that i could have playing in the background while i have coffee and get myself ready for the workday and now i'm an hour and a half in and my coffee is gone and i can't leave. i can't leave, ted. i'm trapped here in this polyethylene preteen scented slow, agonizing descent into madness. i can't leave. i have work to do, ted. release me, ted. let me go.
  • @viaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    Average score of Classic Era: 12/20 Average score of Fashion Era: 11.5/20 Average score of Modern Era: 8/20
  • @KayCustom
    Today I learned that at 27 years old, I still cannot handle Fairytopia slander
  • @KJShell
    As someone who primarily lived during the classic era, the classic era was one of the cornerstones of the childhood of me and my sister. I know I might be biased, I personally believe that the classic era was the best
  • @doodle_bear291
    Someone PLEASE make this man watch Life in the Dreamhouse. PLEASE it's literally the most enjoyable barbie content to date
  • @Meb2x
    Mattel purposely kept the new Barbie separate from the main continuity because people like Ted were getting too close to the truth. Barbie has been around for millennia and nobody can stop her plans for galactic domination
  • @rinaanshina1315
    My favorite genre of video essays is men with glasses and formal dress go slowly mad as they attempt to explain the lore and the timeline of a franchise
  • @maddiejones120
    Barbie diamond castle is a sapphic adventure story, and you can't convince me otherwise.
  • I love how both Eddy and Ted have carved out the YouTube niche of "torture yourself by doing things nobody asked you to do", really one of my favorite genres on the site
  • @cgriff8756
    Wait till he finds out Bibble has canonically committed war crimes on the Wikipedia
  • @ceeitrus
    Kelly got retconned and turned into Chelsea, she had a baby sister named Krissy too and two other siblings named Tutti and Todd but they got deleted from the Barbie universe