I'm Not Okay (Deconversion)

Look into the Kalam Cosmological Argument. And the evidence for the Resurrection. I recommend a Book called "Cold Case Christianity". The basis for God and Jesus is more solid than you currently think.

Big hugs, and thank you for sharing. I have been going through this myself, and I recognize a lot of what you are feeling as what is preventing me from digging in and doing the work I need to do. What I know for sure, however, is you aren't alone!

I have never really been religious in terms of going to church and such but I have always been influenced by family. I used to believe that things were written and set and guided. As I grew I saw how random things can be and how different things happen for no reason. Everyone deals with things in different ways. Its all up to believe "I have no control but thats okay" You control you and thats the important part. As long as you know you things will impove. Randomly in my recommended btw. Subbed and belled so I can see how you do :)

First off, as some others in this comment section have stated, and as someone who also has some experience in the area I also can confirm, at least anecdotally, that this really does gets better with time. Secondly, despite the description and you mentioning a failure to put things into words, this speech is profoundly well spoken. Have you considered writing some scripted content and hiring an editor? I consume a lot of YouTube and have edited some things for a few friends and I feel as though this you convey your thought process incredibly well in this video, better than many popular creators I've seen. If creating that kind of content seems like something you would want to make I highly encourage you to do so. I can Definity say I'll be sticking around this channel to see what you choose to do with it.

It gets better. I’ve been an atheist for about a decade now and I can definitely say it gets better but you still have a existential crisis from time to time and they suck. You can always talk to me if you need to cuz i understand how you feel. 😘

I think it's human instinct to try to find a foundation in life, something 'grounding'. Often this comes in the form of our belief system, and when those beliefs crumble, naturally we are left unstable. It sounds like you want a new foundation to build upon. Entirely understandably, some people struggle with the uncertainty and use a quick fix belief that makes them feel better in the moment, which is often just as fragile a belief as that which they had previously. For you, I hope you can find the strength to build your foundation brick by brick, measured and with patience, and build something that will last. I hope you embrace the unknown and find excitement in diving deeper into science, philosophy, and your own mind; I hope you can find it thrilling unraveling the mysteries of the universe and the one within, even knowing your story will conclude with you not having all of the answers. Plenty of idiots get from A to B, birth to death, in happiness and comfort. There is no reason someone as introspective as yourself shouldn't find the same. ...I should have waited to comment until I was sober... how did I even get here? Well, I'll be keeping an eye on your channel at least :) Sorry for the length.

I went from a Christian to a Satanist and I can tell you that felling you get I fixed with time, I spent time with famly and friends, went on bush walks and it helped so my advice would be to try and ground yourself. TLDR: Everything gets better with time, find something for you mind you focus on in the mean time

People can have traumatic experiences with their religious beliefs. Your former religious belief is not good for you and sounded like a cult. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and He is NOT how the churches preach Him today. I believe in Him because I know demons are real. He helped me and my family. Please avoid doing tarot cards, palm readers, Psychic or any new age nonsense. I saw a video thumb nail with you doing that. You are going to introduce more problems for yourself. Please seek the Lord because HE DOES HELP. God bless.