If You Had Trauma in Childhood, Healing This Will Change Your Life

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Being ignored is my biggest trigger.

I DESPISE hurrying. It’s sheer misery for me. Running for the school bus, my 1st husband making me and our kids hurry hurry hurry while he wouldn’t plan with me so we could be on time WITHOUT all the miserable frenzy and panic. Now? I map out my time before an appointment so I get there calm and on time. THIS is serenity for me.

I especially hate when someone tries to hurry me, then I feel so stressed I deliberately do nothing

Yes. I like to take things slow. When I feel hurried I make more mistakes, forget things, trip and bang my head a lot.

So I recently learned that some abusers will intentionally dysregulate you then use the guise of "helping you re-regulate" to make you feel dependent and see them as a caring person when it's actually an abusive tactic. 🤯

I am a recovering alcoholic, been sober 26 years. My sponsor once asked me if I had ever gone the speed limit. I had to say "never!" because I hadn't. Started going the speed limit consciously. Drove me crazy for a time but I learned that most people are out there going the speed limit! I didn't know those people existed coz I thought everyone was like me! Lolol. Now I go the speed limit, I can be counted on to be where I say I'm going to be on time and I absolutely hate rushing and will not do it. Haste makes waste as they say. And I no longer procrastinate because I have plenty of time to do what I need to do. I prioritize now. Just wanted to share this as I am a CPTSD survivor and found the method my sponsor gave me as a way to SLOW TF DOWN....,try it, you'll like it! Thank you CC Fairy for discussing this!

Oh Anna, not driving while dysregulated is essential! During a difficult time in my life, I parked my car, went into a restaurant for a long meal with a family member, then got back to the car and realized I'd left my keys in the ignition AND my car running the entire time (~2 hrs). I could not believe it. I actually did that twice.

Thanks for this video; I really needed this today. It reminded me of a phrase that was drilled into my head in Boot Camp. "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast." It was something one of the Drill Instructor's said when recruits were fumbling through disassembling and reassembling their rifles, rushing to make time, and inevitably doing it wrong because of rushing. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

I have tears in my eyes. Ive always wondered why I am ALWAYS hurrying. Now I know.

So true. I grew up in so much chaos. Hurrying can easily make me dysregulated. At that point, I do my best to slow down. I have a friend that tends to rush me. I tell him "if you are going to rush me, the answer will always be no".

My opinion on hurrying and disregulation, bottom line is a compensation for the assumptions we make about our baseline identity, mirrored to us as kids. If we don't think we're enough, we try to gain love and acceptance by accomplishing - more and more.

I had an average childhood in my eyes. I am 23 now and I have completely lost control of my life and I have realised it was very troubled. I have crippling anxiety and all my biggest fears have come true in a time span of 1 year. Intense Limerence, horrible nightmares, crippling anxiety, waiting for someone, anyone to save me and the worst of all, the fear that I will never be able to financially look after myself. These videos are a slap to my face. Its like you are putting a mirror up to my face and what i see is unbearable to accept. These videos have saved me. My limerence acts up when i have any sort of stress in my life, I become borderline obsessive. I also have an avoidant attachment. I feel pulled at the seams as so many opposing feelings brew inside me. I will beat this with knowledge and compassion. I cannot stay in this limbo anymore.

This is definitely not talked about enough

That constant "pushing" is the story of my life .... 💜

Oh my God… What you said about ADD symptoms actually being symptoms of CPTSD…I got surprised. People have constantly said that I have ADD but the diagnosis never felt right to me. I can focus on what I need to get done but when I’m disregulated I’m unable to focus

I am 29 and have only just begun this journey. I have watched 3 of your videos today because I searched therapy options and advice. Your channel may just have saved my soul from the torture I put it through. I can't express into words how just these few videos have made me feel in this short time. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

I hurry up always especially in conversation.

That honestly hit like a brick. I do this sooooo much and always wondered why. Because I KNOW how many mistakes I make when I am hurring like this. When I got my drivers licence I had to pick up extra hours because my OCD told me "You are gonna hurt somebody bad with that car", so I was anxious all the time and kinda hurrying to get out of certain trafic situations. My driving instructor literally made a wordplay on my name and jokingly called me something along the lines of "Miss Rush", because I was just so nervous all the time. And then a month ago i literally sprained my ancle, while rushing down some stairs to join a friend for a walk with his dog. Like he wouldnt have whaited for me to take two extra seconds to grab my jacket and mindfully go down the stairs? This makes so much sence now. I really need to work on this. Thank you!

I think the issue of being late and having issues with time deserves a separate video. I am compulsively on time because I had a 'parent' who would leave me in public alone waiting for more than an hour. I know you had your mother leave you in a casino all day. Many people use lateness as a way of having power over others or to express hostility towards them. I have ended friendships with people for lateness. It's disrespectful. So, yes hurrying is upsetting but it is also completely preventable by changing behavior.