7 Things YOU MUST DO to Fight FEAR & INTIMIDATION... when PEOPLE STARE at YOU

Years ago, in my early 30s when my blood ran hotter I was at a bar with an older female cousin, both of us drinking for a few hours. We both grew up in NYC and she was particularly street smart. We were sitting at a U shaped bar and across from me a guy wearing a cowboy hat and I caught each others' eye and started staring at each other, neither one breaking the stare. It felt like it was heating up and both of us were ready to go for it. My cousin saw what was going on and gave the bartender $5 and said "Give that guy across the bar a beer on us and tell him we like his hat." When he got the beer he smiled at us and tipped his hat and all the bad vibe evaporated. My cousin said to me, "Billy, we just bought that guy for $5." And she was right, instead of an ugly night we were able to continue a nice evening between 2 cousins and I even thought that if we had a problem with someone else at the bar that guy with the hat would've helped us. It was a nice lesson in deescalation.

" No predator likes their prey to fight back " - Sun Tzu 👌👌👌👌👌👌

I'm always surprised when a simple willingness to engage disarms an aggressor. Thanks for stating it so well.

Great video! I avoid prolonged eye contact because it locks you into tunnel vision missing sucker punches and multiple attackers. My eyes triangle potential attackers. Eyes > hands > friends > then walk away but look at eyes again to look over shoulder to make sure distance is maintained. Scanning everything is a nice way to avoid escalating the eye contact, but also being aware of your surroundings.

Im always always telling my family to " be aware of your surroundings " 👍🏻

Fear and intimidation are tactics that work very well on those who allow themselves to be afraid and intimidated.

Got body slammed in a fight. Pulled myself up and smiled at him. I could see the fear creep into his eyes. He ran away. He could have finished me with a slap. Total bluff.

I say this again, one of the best and useful youtube channels, better than all the rubbish out there. You know what, people dont just stare to intimidate and rob you, it happens everywhere and in every situation ie, supermarket workers, chicken shop workers, public transport, public places, uber mini cab drivers do it, car drivers do it, cyclists, some people in the gym, there's idiots, creeps, weirdo's and strangers everywhere, especially in London as its a big multi cultural city with 8 million people. Keep up the great work, I have been following you for years. Dr Mark Phillips, I salute you!

Great advice!! I've noticed a simple nod of the head is very effective to a person who aggressively stares at you, then ignore them but keep them in your peripherals until you get a distance away, better to be safe then get stabbed or shot from a weaker opponent!

Many years ago I worked a late shift for London Transport finishing at 1am. I was walking home and on the opposite side of the road was another walker of a stocky build. For some reason I sensed a feeling of foreboding.. I casually glanced at him and he looked at me and his demeanour changed. I was slightly ahead in distance and within a few more yards had turned left into the road where I lived. I did not look back but I knew he had crossed the road. I could hear his presence getting closer. I walked in the middle of the deserted road. I did not want to put myself into a situation where I could be attacked between parked cars or thrown into some front garden. I was now closer to where I lived. With one hand I felt for my house key and made sure it was in the correct position to fit the door lock. His footsteps behind me was closer than ever. I suddenly turned to my right, quickened my pace and within seconds opened and then slammed the door shut. I rushed upstairs to the top floor of the HMO bedsit where I was then staying. I entered but did not switch on the light as I did not want to give away my exact location. I peered out of the top floor window to the street below. There he was, returning back from where he came. I was lucky as I don't think I would have been able to defend myself against a man with such a physical build especially as I am a below knee amputee. To this day, I still ask myself what if I had lived a bit further on. Would I still be here to tell the tale??

Excellent share. Non fighter here, and I believe maintaining your control of emotions is the biggest challenge.

A little nod as greeting also helps a lot in my experience

"don't know mate, it hasn't got a lable" ....great line.

Had a larger guy angry at me in public a while back. He started closing in, so I started moving laterally, sort of prowled around. Met his eyes and had a little smile, but glanced aside at other people and objects around (gauging environmental weapons). Everything he said, I took a second, and gave a response that I gauged to be polite but not meek. Pretty quickly changed his tune.

Man's world: 99% of fights never actually happen, as long as you show you're willing to fight back. Simple "ok let's go" actually got me out of trouble many times.

Absolutely spot on! Actually, a good example of "stare game" can be seen in the classic movie "The Man of the East" with Terence Hill with two options: (a) staring "as if the enemy is already done for" and (b) "smiling as if everything is already resolved in advance". ))) Though it presented in a kind of humorous way there but there is a lot to it too.

Living in london my whole life, I have become used to people giveng me evils etc , more time I have been through it all before, from having knives pulled and people reacting sensitively to me looking at them, I thimk its just important you keep your common sense at all times, especially as a man and just knowing what can potentially happen especially with the kinds of weapons these teenagers carry these days London has become a dangerous place

Perfect example is from The Wire - Michael vs Marlo staredown scene. Marlo got instant respect for Michael's silent but confident staredown, where as the security guard who approached and challenged Marlo aggressilvely in another scene got a different reaction because he stepped to him and was talking too much. The Michael vs Marlo staredown scene is on youtube if you haven't seen it.

I love this channel! I get it is more for "fighter guys", but I learn and confirm a lot of great tips from the videos. To the stare... years ago I was in the Meatpacking District in NYC with a friend. We were paying the bill from a large group and were the last to leave. The car service was not out front as they should have been and the two of us were standing alone in a rather dicey spot. My firend said to me, "don't look, but there is a group of guys over there eying us and I think we are gonna get robbed or worse., I told her to look for a cab or car service coming down the street, very calmly pull out her phone and call the restaurant to come open the door. I turned around and stared right at them. I figured we were gonna survive or die, so better do something. I did the look away thing and looked back at them. Standing my ground in my 4" heels. It really threw them. Not what they expected. They stayed across the street and in the time they were trying to figure out WTF, our car pulled up out front and the restaurant door opened. So, it all worked out. Could have gone south just as easily, but it really was the time that the stare bought us, that allowed us to get the F out of there. For anyone who wondered why I didn't have my friend call 911, this was the 90's in NYC. The cops aren't showing up for a "maybe". Know your options, you may have more than you think. Thanks again for the video.

Controlling your blink rate is extremely important. Blinking is a very clear sign of fear. The other interesting spin off from this is the association effect: by acting less scared you can actually make yourself less scared, and controlling your blink rate is a powerful association tool. Also, breathe deeply in your belly. Just one deep belly breath can be enough to get you feeling centred and ready. Pay attention to these signs in the third party. Are they blinking fast? Are their eyes darting around? Are they breathing with their upper chest? (Look for the shoulders rising and falling) All signs of stress.