My Agender Dysphoria (2 Years Later)

My body doesn't bother me.. what bothers me is people treating me a certain way because of it.

I totally agree with the "sir/mam" thing needing to change. I don't like being called mam or miss, but it's hard to know what to replace those with. Just like with formal wear, formal language tends to have the masculine be seen as more neutral, but that doesn't always feel right, so I tend to go with more casual in both my language and my dress.

I realised I'm agender within the last year. I don't care about pronouns or anything, I just think it's simpler for me to look like my biological sex and be referred by those pronouns because it's easier for other people.

I've been struggling with the fact that I don't understand gender like I am just me. I cannot comprehend that people feel like a specific gender, does that make me agender?

The most dysphoric thing for me is when people try to or do enforce binary gender roles on me.

This helped me a lot! I’ve been feeling dysphoric (especially about my chest) but I don’t want to change anything physically. I do want children in the future and for them to call me mom because it feels like a protective caregiver. Even though I’ve realised this about myself I feel like I’m faking being agender and nonbinary because I don’t really feel like I want to change a lot and because now more than ever I feel ok being perceived as my agab, I care less. My relationship with femininity is also healing after I realised I never were a woman. What before was a futile attempt to be good enough is now a fun expression. But this in itself (looking like my agab and being fine about it) also makes me feel imposter syndrome. But this is only the beginning for me, I think like you said that you get more comfortable with yourself over time.❤️

Hell yeah being more comfortable in your body and not being too concerned about others' perceptions! All the best continuing in that journey of being comfortable. (I should get on that...)

Having nothing down there is definitely a thing it’s called genital nullification, or medically vaginectomy/penectomy, depending on what you have leaves you with only a urethra.

I'm another agender person who is happy with my body parts, but finds social dysphoria really hard. I have 3 kids, and curves, and most people see me as the epitome of womanhood 😩😑 I only discovered the language to describe my gender identity after I'd had my 3rd child. So although I didn't feel female while being pregnant or breastfeeding, during that time I didn't really know there was a name for how I'd always felt.

You made me feel so comfortable! I was scared of becoming something i didnt wanted to become because of stereotypes but after watching a video of an agender pansexual just like me talking exactly how i feel made me feel so much better!!! Tysm this vídeo helped me a lot. Im your new fan :D

For me, I’m agender and I hate my “female” parts. I just want them to not be there 😐

Subscribed! So nice to hear other gender/sexuality perspectives! I'm 58, married, trans-feminine, and ace.

Greetings from other Agender, curvy mommy. It was lovely (and validating) to hear your experiences! I used to have dysforia with my body as a teen, when I was this skinny little tomboy girl with no idea that my weirdness I felt around gender would get a name once I would get to my 30's. xD I was skinny with an hourglass figure and I felt so uncomfortable with myself. I got little bit used to it, but I did get stronger discomfort time to time. Until I got kids in my 20's. I am not going to say that giving birth was this magical thing that changed everything and made me celebrate my wonb and lady lumps and so forth - nope, I absolutely hate being pregnant (got 3 kids now though), and giving birth is such a hassle, but seeing my body in use, doing it's thing and just vibing made me appriciate it more and really has leviated any dysphoria I had. I got more weight with kids and my body looks now more proportional than it used to, and while my breasts sometimes cause me a hassle I don't mind their excistence as much as I used to. Also, as I got myself a daughter whom has grown to be quite a girly girl in some aspects, I actually have healed some of my relationships to feminine things I previously had some discomfort with, because now there was no pressure to be a woman for me, just me exploring with her what she happened to find interesting and me finding appriciation through her excitment of things pink and sparkly. xDDD Personally, Me being called man or a woman or anything in between doesn't actually bother me - I only get bothered when they assume things about me since in their head because I am X I need to think or act Y and Z and must be treated in way N. But that might also be because my motherlanguage has no gendered pronouns, so it is possible that because of that, gendered language isn't as big of an issue for me, I just don't get too much pressure that it would have effected me. I hope you have continmued to feel good in your body and enjoy your life! Have a fantastic day!

You're an amazing person 🌻 blessed be ☺️

Fascinating update! Thanks for sharing your story. It really really helps. I hate feeling alone, but knowing there are other agender people with similar struggles with their body and how people perceive them makes me feel so much better.

thank you so much! i realized i was agender very recently and still am not 100% sure but your video validated a lot of my feelings cause we have very similar experiences.

OMG! I am so amazed at how similar our experiences have been so far! I had two kids eventually. The hormones that flooded my body while pregnant and breastfeeding made me feel more okay with typically feminine things. That waned a bit over the years, but I am still less irked by people using Feminine terms with me. My youngest is 13 now, and “Mom” is more a term of the loving protector I am. Mom means everything’s okay, and I’m proud to be that for the people I love.

I just found you. THANK YOU. 💜💜💜

Since I wrote a comment for 2 years ago I also wanted to write what has going on for me. - Clothing has changed to shorts from 2XU. I use the same size in female. They compress things in a better way. - Down there things have change. Change in size is now more visible. Sensation is lowered a bit. The thing that really have changed is that I by a mistake bought a crop-top and then I tried putting 2 socks under it. So in order to lower my dysphoria i've started wearing a bra at home & I also sleep wearing on. According to my spreadsheet i've been tucked 2 AND worn a bra for 4 month.

Wow for me, the dysphoria is pretty much almost the opposite- I feel pretty dysphoric around my uterus and that I have the potential to get pregnant >~< It honestly disgusts me to the core and makes me extremely uncomfortable and hateful towards my body. The mere thought of having a biological child is pretty disturbing to me. My chest is mostly fine, since I don't have a lot (although I would really like a completely flat chest) and for me wearing a bra/binder/sports bra makes not feel dysphoric around them, since there's always something hugging them to my body and preventing them from moving around. I literally cannot even go outside for a minute without a bra without feeling the need to cry because the feeling is so incredibly uncomfortable. I'm fine with people just assuming for themselves that through my appearance I am a girl, I just feel really uncomfortable when they start pointing it out, calling me gendered terms. It makes me feel like people could never accept that I don't feel like any gender at all, that I'm just me, and it just sometimes sort of stirs up intense hate for my body