4c hair is "good" hair

Does anyone remember what happened to Lipgloss from Tik Tok? She was so severely bullied for simply wearing her natural 4C hair out and not styling it but her point was so valid and she was stunning the way she was. You shouldn’t have to style your hair every single day if you don’t feel like it. Manipulating your hair that often also leads to breakage anyway. So happy you made this video ❤

4c natural for almost 25 years. My advice (what I wish someone had told me): 1) Lean into what YOUR hair does. Once you let go of trying to make your hair behave like hair of a different texture, you'll find ways of styling that you like 2) Embrace shape and volume, it's what we have in spades. Figure out which shape/shapes look nice to you when combined with your facial features and you're golden 3) Wearing it shrunken is great (it's when it looks the most full and lush imo).But in this state it's more susceptible to tangling, so just be aware and careful. 4) It's also ok to style your hair. Even most white women style their hair, despite this idea we have that they fall out of bed with their hair ready to go. Styling doesn't take an inordinate amount of time once you figure out what works for you.

I wrote my senior thesis about black hair and the natural hair movement. After interviewing other black girls on campus, one of my conclusions were seeing other women natural was a major influence in other women going natural.

The poem was actually great.

I live in a predominantly black country and in my part of the world, seeing women who look like you is a norm and people will look at you and see a beautiful young woman, short 4c hair and all but it's crazy that people view the way we look negatively in other parts of the world. I also hate that some people genuinely believe that our hair is hard to manage and that you need to buy a 1000 products to manage it. I only use an ordinary shampoo, conditioner and a hair oil on my hair and my hair is doing just fine. Some people will obviously need a bit more products than I do but that's not because their hair is hard to manage but because we all do different things to our hair and we need different products to satisfy those needs. Thank you for sharing this with us and I really thought your poem was good❤.

I always felt bad for black kids that grew up in predominantly white spaces. Your stories definitely matter. As someone that grew up in a predominantly black space in my formative years, I never once questioned my beauty/value. My brain can’t comprehend it and I wish that for every black girl. When I did eventually go to private school, when the kids tried to bully me for my black features I instinctively KNEW they were ridiculous so I wasn’t affected. I would say, visiting places where natural hair is celebrated e.g. Harlem, Lagos etc. You will be complimented daily. You see need to work on seeing yourself through a black lens. Note: My mum always wore her natural hair and she’s beautiful so that really helped.

Girl, I felt the SAME WAY about makeup in highschool. I was worried that if I started wearing it regularly, I'd feel like a panda without its spots if I took it off one day just to let my skin be its natural self. So I did the actual minimum, and even now makeup is mainly reserved for "special occasions." I don't know if it helps to hear a stranger say it, but you are also incredibly pretty in my eyes. Your features are sweet and youthful and well-balanced, and it's very pleasant to see you laugh and talk. There's many different categories of "feminine" so I wouldn't stress too much about presenting yourself in a certain way to compensate for what you might imagine you are lacking. You're gorgeous, Ms. Rapunzel 😍 Also, as a straight hair girlie, I just want to say that I'm literally mesmerized by people who have curly hair, and especially gravity-defying afros. It sucks that society penalizes certain textures and colors rather than celebrate them... Our skin and hair and bodies, from our ancestors we inherit. We are born beautiful, and it all deserves equal merit.

The comment on the ponytail was REAL. I also went to a predominantly white primary school growing up and for me it was the fringe (or bangs lol) I wanted a fringe soooo bad I would put a headscarf on my head to imitate a fringe at home and I’d feel so beautiful even though I definitely must’ve looked a hot mess. Embracing the notion of upward growth is so magical. I love when people say our hair defies gravity because it really feels like a gift from nature. Great video topic as always, thanks for sharing your experiences ❤️

My sister also went to a predominantly white private school in NYC and I imagine your story mirrors hers a lot. It’s going to take a lot to truly separate ourselves from the notion of white adjacent desirability. We will have to devote a lot of that thought just to hair alone. But you already know u look stunning

god, she is so pretty

This take is very relatable. I wore twists for about 5 years and got used to not receiving compliments on my hair. The times I got some, it was almost always after a retwist, when the hair looked conventionally neat. Learning to like your 4c hair is a journey, because everywhere you look, the world is saying its not beautiful. It takes time, and honestly adopting an independent perspective of how beautiful your hair is.

When I got box braids for the first time I was so excited because 'I looked like a girl' My brother was confused, so I listed off names of girls my age (all white) But then I also realized I never appreciated cornrows because 'I looked like a boy' because it looked like I had no or short hair Now, in big part thanks to TikTok, I realized a lot of natural Black hairstyles are pretty gender neutral (afro, locs, twists, dreads, and so on) You said someone mistook you for a guy, but I know a guy with an afro who kept getting mistaken as a girl (from the back)

I think it's interesting to keep in mind that in precolonial Africa, hair was braided and people had so many different styles, cuts, natural products. Hair told a story of your age, social status, marital status etc.. It was rarely just left as it was for many different tribes. It was such an important tool for self expression and identity. l think it's normal that we might want to do something extra with it. Nothing wrong with leaving it and combing it (or not) into a beautiful afro.

once you mentioned the "ponytail swing," i clapped at my computer bc omg i wanted that bounce so bad too!! it wasn't until i got sew ins and the like but i felt my most feminine with them in. i cut my hair into a pixie cut about a year ago, and have been dressing more "masculine" bc i assumedly felt more masculine due to my hair being shorter (also nonbinary vibes hehe). tbh this video was amazing to see as someone who also grew up in predominately white spaces. my childhood experiences feel so seen :')

I really relate to you on this, being in super white spaces you internalize your differences as parts you may need to shrink or change about yourself. I especially relate to the feeling of realizing people weren't identifying me or like associating me with being a girl or being feminine. All of your feelings and thoughts are super valid! Thank you for sharing with us :)

100% relatable. I always wore my hair natural but in twist outs or braid outs. I didn't start doing a wash and go until I was 30 and the stylist pointed out what beautiful tiny corkscrew curls I had. Honestly it never before occurred to me that my hair could be considered pretty or even acceptable. I recently started wearing extensions and definitely notice that pretty privilege is a thing and I didn't experience it when I wore my hair natural for the past 10 plus years. I thought I'd basically become invisible because I was older but turns out the world just isn't ready for these curls. It's kinda sad and frustrating but it is what it is.

Definitely relatable. I’ve been natural since 2014 and I still struggle with loving my hair without manipulation. It’s called a journey for a reason I guess.

Grew up in a predominantly white area too, had my hair relaxed at 4 years old until middle school. It was damaged, short, and caused me a lot of emotional damage. I decided to say no to relaxers and go natural, though i didn’t start wearing it out freely until college. It’s been liberating for me to wear my natural hair and feel confident. I feel as if i don’t have to hide anymore

Thank you so much for making this video! Even though I'm Jewish I relate to everything you said. Growing up I was always told how prettier I would be if I my hair was straight, and so I straightened it every day- to a point where I would feel incompetent, unfeminine and childish just existing in my natural state. The part about compensating for your femininity deeply resonated with me. I would always say half-jokingly to my mom that since I am a bit chubby, have a roman nose and curly hair, I have to choose two out of the three to be considered at least somewhat within the beauty standard. Since changing my weight and nose is hard, the least I could do is straighten my hair. But I'm starting to realize the futility of this pursuit, since western beauty standards are at their core antisemitic, racist and fatphobic. Lately I've been trying to wear my hair curly and become more comfortable with it. Something that helps me is thinking about the strong, capable and loving women in my life who also have hair as mine. In addition, just like your poem, I see my hair- and existence- as a monument to the past. It's a giant 'fuck you' to anyone who has ever wished to suppress the existence of my ancestors, as they are living through me. I think of the Audre Lorde quote “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”. For black, jewish and POC women, expressing ourselves and treating every part of our looks and identity with love and respect is the most powerful tool we have.

You couldn't have posted this at a better time. I'm about to take out my braids and I want to start wearing my hair how it grows for a bit. I have all the same thoughts and feelings you expressed so thank you so much! It's nice to see someone going on this same journey