I'm Embarrassed I Paid for This Trash

5% on rotten tomatoes is diabolical 💀

I think the ONLY thing that’s upsetting is, if I’m not mistaken, Trevor Henderson (creator of siren head and other cool monsters) did the monster design for the movie and was really happy to finally have his work in a film. Then it turns out to be the biggest dumpster fire. So I feel bad for the guy

For anyone curious, the Six of Swords basically means "making a journey to somewhere better after great hardships" not "here are six swords, we are going to stab you with them now."

Fun fact, I saw this in theaters, fell asleep, woke up near the end, and left early.

I cackled in the theater when the old lady died. Her card literally said "your going to be killed by a bunch of swords" and literally 2 minutes later, she's killed by a bunch of swords. That's "People die when they're killed" levels of bad writing.

>Draws The Fool >Hunted by a clown I'm not even a Tarot guy, but I at least have played a moderate amount of Persona to go "that's not even what the fuck that means, why did you take that so literally."

I love how they try to do the prophecy twist bit, but the prophecy is just "you get what you want, but there's a weird guy. Watch out for the weird guy." And the twist is the weird guy kills you. It's like saying "you'll become unfathomably rich but watch out for Jason" and the twist is that Jason from Friday the 13th shows up. That's not a twist!

You know shit is bad when Velma has a higher rating

I like how you went into the movie with the lowest expectations and still came out feeling surprised by how bad it is.

The IRS sentenced me to two showings of TAROT for not paying my taxes

The thing that irks me most is that The Tarot is a very interesting premise for a horror movie if it followed a sort of twisted "Fool's Journey." The Major Arcana of Tarot are meant to represent someone's journey of self discovery, where they start innocent and carefree as The Fool, face a major change in their lives at Death, and eventually claim The World, which represents completeness and closure and someone having a full understanding of themselves. Given how the Major Arcana all have reversed meanings to represent negative aspects of the cards, you could make a sort of reversed Fool's Journey, where the protagonist faces dire circumstances in their life as a result of the reading and eventually gets an unfulfilling ending. There's so much potential with that structure alone yet instead they went with "this card represents the monster that will kill you".

I read the wiki summary, lol @ the plot, every tarot card is just "oh you die" and has no thematic connection to the actual card

How dare you give a bad review, Charlie. Don't you know you're destroying multi-million dollar studios! 😡

Why do so many horror movies have to be such trash?

Also as someone who can read tarot cards, that is not how they work or what they represent the hanging man is about release and closure smh

As someone who reads tarot, there were SO many cooler ways that the cards and divination could have been used in a horror film. Could have been "Group of teens find a tarot deck at summer camp that predict an occult mass murder, and now they have to try and stop it," or "Family moves to a new house and find a tarot deck, whose predictions are the only thing preventing them from being caught by the entity that ALSO haunts the house." But no, they went with "The cards will predict your death in the most literal way possible, at the hands of a supernatural entity based on a Major Arcana." Fucking Tarot Mascot Horror. JFC.

5% is a good number for unemployment but terrible for a rating of a supposed “blockbuster”.

"You really shouldn't talk bad about their movie, it can hurt them financially. Just wait for Tarot 2, they just need a little more time to work on things."

10:50 - the frustration behind that "And then, even after that" is the iconic "I hate this so much that I just remembered something else you will not believe and will not stop until you know it" vibe.

tarot cards are literally just for finding a different perspective to a situation lmao, they're not fortune cookies.