Adult with Autism | Autism & Returning to the World | 49

Hi Paul. Sorry to hear you've been unwell and I'm glad you're feeling better. I just wanted to say how much I appreciated your channel. I've recently had a diagnosis at age 36 and much of the mainstream/popular content on autism doesn't really resonate with me and I struggle to connect with it. Your perspective, on the other hand, is the closest I've come to my own and it resonates deeply. Your channel has really helped my feel less alone and gain insight into myself and my "version" of autism. Thank you mate.

Hey Paul! Sorry you had to suffer being ill on your holiday, glad your better. I hate going back out when i've stayed in for awhile. It can give me so much anxiety that it feels like someone is standing on my chest. Thanks Paul! Still smiling.

You might enjoy living as a farmer. I’ve left the city/suburbs for life in the countryside. Fresh air, no traffic. It’s exactly perfect for me and just like Sarah Hendrickx suggests, a “low arousal” life. Peaceful as possible. Your George would like it too.

I can so relate to this. I am 46 years old on short term disability. I just broke. I finally realized that I am autistic. I took a bunch of online tests, talked to people who knew me in my childhood, talked to my NP and counselor. I am shocked to come to terms that I am autistic. My knowledge of autism is very limited. Your videos have really helped. Thank you.

Welcome back! I missed your big [ugly] face. It saddened me to hear you were so unwell. Thank you for surviving. It's been a lot of work trying to remember to remind myself to keep smiling. 😜 I liked the back-story of the beard. My leg hair has a similar one, though it's definitely not enhancing my appearance any. 😆 I might be the only one on planet earth who wants to work, and I feel like I've reached the point of giving up. I like structure and routine. I like having a place to go and a thing to do that earns me money and gives me a bit of independence, but being taken advantage of and breaking my back and burning out over and over again just doesn't seem worth it anymore. So I make sure I get out in the world every day to interact with people. Using cash only helps with that. I spread out my grocery shopping to give me frequent destinations, because if I don't engage with the world, I forget how. Dealing with cashiers is very predictable and scripted, but it's better than nothing. Even this sort of interaction doesn't really help because typing and speaking are two very different functions. Really, I'm just talking to myself in my head as I type these words. I can't imagine speaking to you face to face. I would probably feel self -conscious and worry about the wrong thing coming out of my mouth and get flustered when it did. But I think you would laugh at me with me, so it would be ok. 🙃🙂

I found you on spotify. The video comment made me want to find you on you tube. You are great on both formats

Hi Paul, nice to see you back on! Though I guess it hasn’t been that long really. I am exactly the same way. I typically work two days and then have four days off. In that short time I dread having to go back. I feel the same. Can’t be myself, out of sync and tired. Always so tired after work. Glad you are recovering from Covid. Really sorry to had to go through it twice!

Hello, Paul. I realize this video has been posted for a while, but it touches on almost everything I struggle with, and I just wanted to say it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Appreciate the content you make. Thank you. Waffle on.

It’s not just you…and now see the struggle of experiencing the world quite differently is real, in relating to so much of what you, et al. have shared openly, with such candor. TY much appreciated 🙂

My husband has a goatee for the same reason his face is oddly round, he looks like a teenager without it lol. I'm a stay at home mom/caregiver at the moment but when I do return to the workforce I'm not going to work the same hours I was putting in. I hate shitty drivers too. Turn signals aren't optional!! Hope you're feeling better, Paul. Take care!

Hope you feel better every day Paul. I hated going back to work after a holiday too and I didn't like finding out what had changed while I was away.

Hi Paul! 😁 So glad to see you! (which sounds like a small-talk norm thing to say, but I actually mean it 😂). Once again, I couldn't relate more if I tried!! I'm gonna try to remain calm and keep my excitement of how strongly I relate under control 🙈 But it's like the very issue I've just been thinking about is the exact issue that you make a video about shortly after 🥳 You're definitely not out of sync with me, I can assure you of that at least 😂 Ofc the fact that we're coming out of the festive period is why 'returning to the world' is a lot of our issues right now, but I was only telling myself earlier that I dread leaving the house and people-ing so much more when I haven't had to for a while. I absolutely dread it full stop, but going back after extra me time? It's almost a "how much do I really wanna be alive?" level of anxiety, honestly. I do wonder if a lot of it is my difficulty with transitions and my PDA, to name just 2 of my 99 problems 🙃 Even if I've just missed 1 weekend at my weekend job, it's so much more anxietifying to go back the following weekend. It's near impossible to find people who want to treat you with actual respect too, so people-ing in general is an adrenaline stress-fest. I so relate to how you talked about your nerves and your odd reaction after working for ages and your brain needing a reboot. Every job I've ever had (all 4 of them 🤦🏻‍♀️) have been so unsuitable for me for one reason or another, though admittedly my main issue has been how I'm treated by people I work with/for. My major burnout that I'm still not recovered from, what I call "The great burnout of 2020" lol, felt so much like how you've described your nerve reaction. Also just chronic fatigue, like gravity was, erm, more 🤷🏻‍♀️ In the minus numbers of spoons. Anyway, I too could waffle all day but I'm gonna leave you with "I relate to the lot!" Watching my fellow autistic folk sharing their experiences on this accessible platform is saving my life tbh. Thank you again, you have no idea how helpful it is to hear from you! It's not just waffle, it's changing things for the better for so many of us. Speaking for myself only though, just thank you so much!!! Shower beautiful George with all the love and affection in the world from me! 😁🥰 Tell him he's wonderfloof 💖 Tell Dexter he's great too, haha 🥰 I know cattos are more independent 😸🐾 Glad you survived this festive AND disease-ridden time of year!!

I've got the same problem with work or anything I give it 110%. Someone asked what is good about being autistic and I said we give thing 110% and put so much thought into anything it's good but it's bad as then it can effect us mentally and physically. Luckily I'm my new employment I can buy holidays. I really struggle with going back to work after being off it's more because I've been at home and not had to "people" ive recharged by not going out and just taking my time. To then having to go back into that fast paced environment which isn't just work it's my brain constantly thinking and me constantly on the go 😞

I like the way you say "Y'Alright" if feels like you really care to know.

Aw sorry about the lingering effects of Covid but I’m glad you’re on the mend. Totally agree that if everyone acted respectfully of everyone else instead of pushing ahead and only thinking of themselves, this would be a much better planet. And it’s true that when we sink into our comfort zone it’s hard to get back out again. This was a fun waffle, like always 🙂 Take care!

Hi Paul, I've stayed up late to watch your video even though I am giddy with tiredness. You said you would rather talk about silly things at work well I agree. Where I work (I told you in a recent email) we are some of us creatives and I am sure others are ND and some of us ( mainly me 😄) like to talk our fair share of bat shit crazy talk to help get through the day. So I come up with a strategy, I call it " boring but true" 😄 I have a thing where I heckle to a few colleagues who I know will indulge me when I have some seemingly uninteresting but interesting random facts or storeys that I just need to share or blurt out and they will usually listen and even Sometimes join in! which is great because it kind of "normalises" my otherwise odd behaviour. It helps that a lot of us have all worked where I work for so long and are familiar with each other. One guys theory is that where we work isn't really our work place and that we are all actually in patients trapped in an asylum disguised as a real company doing real work because the place is so bloody crazy! 😆 Anyway thanks for the video and the advice and for making me laugh. Zoe

Paul it is so great to see you back on YouTube. Sorry you are ill again! You are in our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. I agree with you about transitioning back into society after having time alone; it is quite difficult for me as well. I’m curious - did you make any New Year’s resolutions for 2023? What is your biggest goal this year?

Hi Paul, I missed all these back when they dropped. So sorry you went through the nasty c experience. Had my own similar but instead of loosing the sense of smell mine morphed into the everything smells and tastes like dying rotting meat and lost a ton due to repulsion. The smell eventually normalized took months for me. But I still can’t eat all of those foods I loved back then my brain identified what I was eating…. all my favorite foods were the enemy not the c virus. Darn it! Developed an Oxalate sensitivity and things snowballed like an avalanche of destruction. Still trying to recover a year and a half later. So thanks for validating the reality of how this thing can take some of us down town for a booking trauma experience not a death penalty and not a quick in and out on bail… but a hold no don’t. It is hard to go back to the real world after a hold lol. Suddenly life and freedom seems more important than all those petty work “issues” eh? It all just seems so ill-relevant (pun intended) to what matters… a life worth living. Good to see you again! I like the way you process. Yes… stop it… stop acting like my existence in the road isn’t worthy 😂😂😂😂 Designing a car that detonated when someone hits the honker when it isn’t a safety issue. Start there and humanity will evolve to a better place 😊

Oh Paul what a wonderful video. I have been feeling anxious about going out tomorrow to help at an allotment, which I do once a week. I have been trying to think why I never want to go and what's wrong with me. It's only for two hours. It's like your video says, it's about not wanting to go out into the world where its so hard and tiring for you to cope. I had not realised this. You are helping me to have insight into my own life. Thank you so much.im going to watch all your videos.

Hi Paul I have always had the same problem with annual leave, I think the main problem for me is that I’m breaking my work routine, as much as I like having time off work I find it extremely difficult to get back on track when I return to work almost to the point that I feel that I have got to relearn things that I have been doing for the past 30 years. Sorry to hear that you had to pay out £25 for a battery for your watch, have you ever looked at the citizen eco drive watches they are fantastic and you will never have a battery issue again, well at least not in the next 20 years.