Ten Big Red Flags when Joining a D&D Group

I'm currently one of three druids in my party. Yup, THREE druids. Each of us plays completely different than the others, and we're all having a Wild time.

For the deal with using Entangle to stop something from falling through a grate, I find the best way to do it is say "It actually works, but you get the sense that it was a stroke of luck and shouldn't rely on it happening again."

Your last point in particular is spot on. I've had gaming groups like that, where I've felt attacked, uncomfortable or bullied at the table, but have sucked it up because I wanted to play and didn't have anyone else to play with. In hindsight, the emotional harm it caused me was absolutely not worth it, and I wish I'd left that table long before I did. I've since left that group and found a group that I feel much more comfortable with. I trust them and since joining them I've had some of the best times I've ever had at a table. The advice in this video is hugely important. Thanks guys.

The "no information about the setting" thing really came up for me in my first campaign. I'm like Kelly in that I like to have a history to my character that meshes with the world of the setting. I drove my GM nuts asking semi-detailed questions about various parts of the map that had little to nothing to do with where the party was currently (on the side, NOT during a session). I figured out later on, he wasn't avoiding answering to be obtuse rather he was a very improvisational GM and literally hadn't decided on those areas beyond the broad strokes of "X" race is the dominant species in that area.

"That's not D&D, that's some kind of weird absurdist hell" is definitely one of the more humorously savage Dungeon Dudes quotes

My wife and I played Khenra twins that were both Totem Barbarians. She went wolf for offense, I went bear for defense, and it was one of the overall best campaign experiences I've ever had

I've been on the receiving end of some pretty terrible DMs and groups. I've seen everything you guys talked about... and I'm actually thankful for it. Allow me to explain. There was no internet available to me when I started. YouTube didn't exist. I had only the people around me and I suffered under their ugly, nasty playstyle and personalities until I said I'd had enough. All those bad habits, all that nasty behavior, all those red flags, they taught me how to NOT be like that. I was forged better in their crucible of "ick". I love to let characters be heroic because I wasn't allowed to be. I love to work with players on story and, really, anything because nobody did for me. I love to let things slide on a spell or power now and then because "that's so cool!" (with the caviat that it's a one time thing). I want my players to have fun, because I did not. So, thank you, all you awful, terrible DMs and groups. You made me the better, proud Forever DM that I am today.

On surprise house rules, many years ago my wife and I joined a game some of her co-workers were in. This was back in D&D 3.0/3.5 days, and the DM was deeply enamored with third-party content that exploded with the original OGL. First session, joining a few sessions after the campaign start, we were all around level 3-4. The DM had us encounter a group of third-party-content goblins that were naturally invisible except under moonlight! (Naturally, the encounter happened at mid-day in game.) I was playing a fighter so I stated I would make a perception check to try and determine where one of the goblins was so I could attack with the major disadvantages that come from fighting against an invisible opponent. The DM said a perception check couldn't be used that way, and when presented with the RAW on perception checks he claimed it was a house rule. So I stated I would blindly attack into one of the spaces around me in an attempt to get lucky and hit one. Denied, because I didn't have the blind fighting feat which, according to him, made it impossible to fight an invisible foe. Again, when presented with the RAW about fighting invisible opponents and how the blind fighting feat just reduced the penalties for doing so, he declared it a house rule. The party ended up barricading themselves in a room and waiting for nightfall, dragging the adventure to a complete halt because we felt we had no options to move forward. We didn't return for a second session.

A friend of mine lost a player in their DND campaign (going on a year) they were at 10th level, and asked if I wanted to join. The DM (not my friend) was very helpful- and we both found it was very important that my character fit into the setting. We had a "session zero" where we as a group discussed how things work, house rules and stuff. When the first session started it took no more than the "recap" (maybe 3 minutes) before my character was introduced- now I've been playing with the same group for over a year, and I'm loving it- have a great time with them :D

The main important reason for a Session Zero: YOU ALL AGREED TO MEET UP AT THIS TIME, LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF DOING SO. Sometimes, you might need to pull back the start time by 15 or 30 minutes if it's a little hard for one or two players to make it on time. Having a "will this start time work" game-day is good to have before the game fully starts.

My golden rule for tabletop RPGs: Everyone at the table should strive to make the game as fun as possible for everyone, including the dm. Also communication is key, talking about issues as they come up and having the other people listen and discuss it in a constructive manner can overcome a lot of problems. I played for years in a group where everyone had a diagnosis of some kind, and had different problems that might have put others off, but since we all worked together to accommodate each other, it made it even better. One player got tired very early, so we had to game mid day. I'm terrible with keeping times, especially early, so one of the other players picked me up before the game. Another player was very picky about food, so we ate the same food every Saturday for over a year before we could branch out to three acceptable meals, and so on. These could have been red flags, but because everyone was working together to help each other, it strengthened our bond as a group and as friends.

"Re-zero" is a fun phrase. In marksmanship it sometimes refers to making adjustments to your rifle's sights to account for any changes to the way you hold and fire it. A good analogy for the purpose of a "re-zero" session.

I remember a story where I felt isolated as a DM since I felt that no one in the table wanted to thang out with me and only do when it's related to the campaign. I just soldier through because it was my responsibility as a DM to run the game for them. But man, I felt really bummed out when I see them having conversations and suddenly stopped when I join in. It took me a while but I left the group. Moral of the story, never play, less run for a table that only wants to use you for there own satisfaction at the game.

I think finding a group is similar to dating. Sometimes you know right away it won't work. Sometimes it takes a few sessions. And sometimes it lasts a lifetime.

I have many times told people to play a certain type of character. If the scenario is a story about some knights escorting a bishop to the Pope, then if the bishop has already been cast, then the character has to be a knight, Within the category 'knight' there is so much room for variation that this should never be a problem.

i currently run one shots at my local youth group for 10-15 year olds, many who have never played before so i usually bring pre generated simplified character sheets of varying classes and let the players pick and name their characters from the options for them, this is great for getting them into the game and i find that running games this way allows me to teach them more about the game by letting me choose when to add more complex aspects, one group i have been running for are now starting a call of cthulu campaign and are even starting to DM for each other.

Many of these red flags happened on accident in our group of brand new players for the first year or so. If you are anxious, ignorant and without guidance, things can tense up really quickly. I think the reason we still play together is that we had already been close friends before we started playing and agreed to be super transparent and patient with each other. We definitely stumbled along the way and had to have some frank discussions, but we all trust each other to try to learn, be kind and listen. It strengthened our friendship to work through those issues and I am super happy with our group today. 💚

Thank you! I joined a well established table a few years ago with no re-zero. First session I felt attacked by the other players interrogating me and my character choices, belittling my attempts to RP, and telling me I was playing my character wrong. I always felt it was my fault but you've made me think differently

As someone currently playing a Warlock who very deliberately didn't take Eldritch Blast, I'm glad you said "If you're having fun, you're doing it right" bc I am definitely having fun with my Neutral Evil Warlock who's passing as a regular spellcaster (pact of the Tome) and totally about to betray the party at the last battle (DM: Hey you wanna be an evil cultist in my Zelda Homebrew who befriends the party and then betrays them in the end? Me: uh hell yeah???)

As a first time DM I am so glad I spent sooooo much time working with my players on their characters, who they are, where they fit into the setting etc. Great video, great relief I didn't end up unintentionally producing these red flags.