Life After Psych Drugs: Will Your Intelligence Return?
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Published 2019-07-18
I answer that in this video, while also touching on the subject of creativity and whether or not it will return for those who have lost it. For creative people, our intelligence and our creativity are intrinsically linked and the loss of the former often begets the loss of the latter. It's a tragedy at the soul level. And a full recovery isn't simply longed for, but desperately needed. If this resonates with you, then hopefully this video can aid you in some small yet meaningful way.
I should mention that I mainly focus on antipsychotics in this video, especially during the on-meds portion of my life, since they seemed to have the most devastating impact on my ability to think. While coming off meds, however, it would be difficult if not impossible for me to narrow it down to any one medication or even class of drug when trying to figure out what was doing the most damage to my mind. Odds are, it is the process itself, the one of coming off meds, that is inherently hostile towards one’s ability to form thoughts, be they simple or complex, and process information in all its forms. Simply put, it devastates the brain.
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About Russell B:
I was 11-years-old when I was first taken to a psychiatrist. Like so many children, I was struggling to deal with a stressful home environment. Rather than embarking on the complicated, difficult, and delicate task of thoroughly exploring all of that and attempting to solve the problems at their origins, the psychiatrist instead gave me a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and promptly prescribed the antidepressant Luvox to treat its “symptoms.”
This sequence of events kickstarted nearly two decades of wandering through psychiatry’s labyrinth of symptom management and prescribing cascades. By the time I was 25, I had received a half-dozen diagnoses, taken countless psychiatric drugs — including ten straight years on antipsychotics — and had more side effects than I could keep up with or manage. I weighed 400 lbs (181 kg), had out-of-control Type 2 diabetes, and felt like I was dying. And honestly, I had felt so bad for so long, I sometimes welcomed it.
I didn’t know where the DSM labels and all the treatments for my supposed “disorders” stopped and I began. I was sad, broken, and worst of all, someone I’d never had the chance to know.
But then I experienced a spark of hope. A light bulb-over-the-brain moment. Maybe I didn’t have to live that way. Even though the belief had been drilled into me for so many of my developing years that coming off the meds would surely seal my doom, something deep inside told me to take a chance and bet big on Russell B. Using this internal guidance, I began a psych drug taper and slowly started coming off every single one of the drugs in a psych drug cocktail: Lexapro, Concerta, Ritalin, Geodon, Klonopin, and Rozerem. None of them were safe. All were on the chopping block.
It took 5 god-awful years to complete the taper and with almost no help from the docs who’d put me on them. But I succeeded.
I’ve been off all meds for 10 years now (as of August 2023) and haven’t seen a psychiatrist since way back in 2009. It’s been a brutally long journey down a nightmarish path. One that was often too dark to see in front of me and littered with steep drops and soul-testing trials. But you know what? I survived. And my life has been improving, slowly but surely, ever since I escaped the house that psychiatry built.
If you’re wandering down the same path, please know you’re not alone. You’re not fated to lose your way – or yourself. You can succeed. We all can.
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Video notes:
Note 1: When I say “intelligence,” I am NOT saying that I’m “smart” or a “genius.” I am strictly referring to my ability to think. That’s the simplest way to put it. It’s the subject of this video: whether or not you will be able to think again—at the level that matches your full intellectual capability. No more, no less.
Note 2: This video's lightly edited. I currently have one scheduled to publish next Tuesday that'll have a little more spit and shine on it.
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Here's a link to a video where I go into more detail about my psych patient history. I left all that out of this vid to keep the time down and to avoid going over previously covered material.
The link:
• 3 of My Reasons for Coming off Psych ...
Time stamp for the relevant section: 0:01:00 - 0:04:16
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Disclaimer:
Any advice given on this channel is not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult with a licensed medical professional before coming off psych drugs.
All Comments (20)
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Thank you for telling the truth about what these lobotomizing neurotoxins actually do to people. Psychiatry should be abolished
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I'm crying because this comment section is so relatable. So long feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, which I relished before. I loved how my mind worked. I was sharp, emotionally driven, passionate, humorous. Creative. I am an artist that cannot muster a painting. Colors are foreign to me, I don't understand how they work together. I spent the summer thinking of ways to die. When you said "learning how to read again" I felt that so hard. I feel like I've been lobotimized. Thank you for making this video. I'm trying to be patient with myself and this helps.
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Im grateful to know I’m not alone. Still a prisoner of Seroquel after 20 something years, but I’m breaking the prison walls one day at a time. I’m currently on 75mg. Made my way from 600mg. Started as a kid, 34 now. This medication will not end me.
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Memory loss, confusion, inability to learn, ...during withdrawals, these side effects intensify. The brain does heal. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual healing start to occur. Some damage to the brain, caused by long term high doses, may be permanent. This is why your story is so important. Loss of intellect and learning abilities, is a common side effect of neuroleptics. More of a human rights violation than a cure. You have survived and can tell your story. This is very helpful. I wish you happiness, perfect health, and success*
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" psychiatry has turned out to be using someones suffering against them for profit" a noble profession?
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In 3 months quitting all of my meds (i don’t suggest doing this cold turkey like I did, this was a mistake)—— i have reclaimed so much intelligence and clarity, and become mentally much better. My attitude is great too
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Yep I was like that when I was on antipsychotics, completely impaired me felt like I was trapped in my own body. I’m off them now thank GOD
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I should add that I am older- 40. And I quit decades of drugs, and after a few years off I got my ability to think clearly, my memories, and my spirit back. I have always been suicidal, I don't remember a time in my whole life where I did not want to die. Now I love life very much.Tapering gave me enough spark back to escape domestic violence for good. I'm really grateful I had the space and the supportive environment to become drug free. How I pulled this off, I don't know, but I am proof you can come back from this.
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What I have found to help is 1. meditation. 2. working out (weights or running). 3. healthy diet. 4. no drugs (no alcohol, caffeine etc). 5. staying productive (work/school etc). 6. getting good sleep (dark room, no noise, enough hours). Doing these everyday and sticking by them religiously. I'd say the more serious your case is (on meds for many years) you should abide by these all the more strictly and intensely. Also setting goals is helpful. For instance, if you are intelligent enough - during your recovery - to provide for your livelihood (i.e. you can hold down a job) any other additions in your recovery is just extra. In other words, knowing when you feel 'good enough'. Likewise rediscovering laughter and your sense of humor will go a long way. A good comedy is a great antidepressant.
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Thank you for another excellent video. Coming off psychiatric drugs really sucks. Only now I'm realizing how much I've lost because of this drugs. Not only my intellectual abilities, but also my spirituality and the connection to my inner self. I can't even speak with my friends about this, because they just would not understand. Just want my old self back 😑
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I have the same problem, lack of intelligence and memory, tiredness and lack of drive to do things. But the psiquiatrist and the psyquiatric nurses talk like you are normal, of course you can study and you can work, all the rest of people in medication do them. Only in the internet I find that people in medication are actually like me, and medication affects them.
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I need prayers to come off of my medications.
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I am practically 3 weeks of being tapered completely. I have been completely tapered off of psychiatric drugs before for months, however, I ran into some domestic abuse from my father. I was inside of my apartment when my father called the police on me and lied to the cops and told them I was schizophrenic and that I had stopped taking my medicine. My psychologist had already diagnosed me with PTSD and had severely ruled out any suspect of any other diagnoses. However, basically my father took everything I had worked to gain where I would function as a happy, healthy and intelligent individual away. I was in college, I had a job, I had friends, and that was because I came off of the psychiatric drugs. Then my father knew that police would arrest me if he told them I was having a "psychotic episode." He did this because he came to my apartment uninvited once and I made him leave my apartment. He felt left out and angry, and had his revenge by intentionally lying to the police. I was thus prescribed the drugs again, and now have to run through the Icarus maze one last time. I am almost out of the maze, finally. I have to realize that my sick and predatory father is to be ignored and shut out of my life, as well as any other people who would use psychiatry as a weapon to harm me like my father. I have 2-3 weeks left of being on any psyche meds, and when I am finally off I know I will begin to get my social and higher mental faculties back. However, as it is now, because I take psychiatry, I avoid reading and just play video games on my laptop. That's really all I've ever done on the influence of psychiatry besides watch YouTube, Netflix and Anime. The last 6 months have been a nightmare due to the fact that I thought I was at the finish line but had to restart my efforts and re-live all of the torment that I had been through for so long. I also lost all of my friends, the job, and I dropped out of school. So basically, after being free of the psyche drugs, and then being force fed them again due to my father's lies, my worst fears became real and I lost all I had earned from the miracle of psyche drug recovery. I swear to dear God, I know 100% that without fail, if I can breathe without psychiatric drugs in my system that I am able to succeed in life, but as it is now, my life has tumbled and fallen and been burned to the ground, thanks to the predators in my life. only 2-3 more weeks, and I beg to God that I will finally be free of psychiatric drugs for the rest of my life. I pray to dear God, because I do need to in order to work and go to college and just flatout enjoy any part of my life.
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So relatable!! Psychiatry really drove me mad. Been on all kinds of psychiatric drugs for 9 years and I couldn't function at all anymore. I had epileptic seisures at the end. It got so bad, they wanted to commit me into psychiatric inpatient care permanently. But then my intuition kicked in and I knew I had to get out. I didn't know why yet, but I just felt I had to get out right there and then. Long story short, I quit all drugs, cold turkey (NEVER DO THIS, IT'S EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!! but somehow I servived) and I managed to get out of psychiatry for good. I too had to learn how to think, read and write again (still learning). My intuition guided me, and I've come very far. It has been 18 years now and I'm still recovering and in mourning for the years I've lost and the damage it has done to me. But my intelligence has come back for the most part, I think, it's far above average by now. I'm still struggling with all the trauma, but I gained so much knowledge from the whole experience! I just needed to understand how the system broke me (and many, many others. We are lucky to have servived, many don't!) down that much, so I took a deep dive in the matter and I learned so much about myself, others, psychology, sociology, politics, capitalism, history, society, philosophy, ethics. I went to university to study philosophy but I had such a deeper understanding of how systems operate, the schooling system included. I quit because there was nothing to learn for me there. The teachers lacked so much practical awareness, common sense, wisdom and deaph, it frustrated me. My critical thinking skills were driving us al mad, I'm afraid 🤣 I made the teachers think, not the other way round 🤣 So I figured I didn't need education from the schooling system, I rather figure things out on my own. I'm not the type that is motivated by high grades, witch university was all about, but I'm driven by my own curiosity and creativity. I've grown so confident of my mind, that it doesn't matter how much was lost. How to tell anyway! Sometimes, I wish more of it was gone, because this is also an isolating experience. It's hard to find people I can relate to, so that's why your video jumped out for me. So, don't worry to much about your mind! It sounds fine to me, far above average as I can tell. And you wil keep on healing, growing and learning. More important is to take care of your spiritual and your emotional well-being. But hearing you reflect on your experiences, I think you too will manage fine in those areas. The journey has been very tough for me too, but I'm in a far beter place now. It takes time, but when you look back in a couple of years, you can't even imagine the ability for you to have grow that much without this experience. It will give you other gifts than just getting back your high intelligence. To me, my intuition has become one of my greatest sources of wisdom, not my high intelligence. Open your mind 😉 and be amazed, take care!
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Thanks for your video. Slowly recovering. Psychiatrist had me on the highest dose of risperdal possible for my age (at 18), although she was never able to come to an actual diagnosis of any sort except depression (you can see where it came from). Tip for everyone, don’t go to a Psychiatrist who doesn’t deserve the title.
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You are so articulate, love your videos. I’m on 600mg Lithium - I tried 3 days off then had psychotic break so had to go into hospital. Psychiatrist will not support me in tapering. I’m currently doing a fruit cleanse to try and heal my Kidneys and Thyroid which are damaged by Lithium. Feel so helpless and frustrated! I’m going to look into a clinic that will support tapering off the Lithium. I am disgusted with mental health provision, I was treated like an animal on psych ward. Sorry for the rant! Keep up the good work. X
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Thank you so much for this video. I've been on lexapro for 2 years and it has turned me into a binge eater, compulsive gambler, and other things I would never have done previously. I have finally realized what cause this behavior. I want my soul back.
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You are a ray of hope for my life. I cannot thank you enough. I will be back. To what I was. To what I deserve to be. More than a decade of this psych drugs. And now I realize what I have lost. The same doctors who put me in this mess refuse to help me get out of this. People on internet sharing experiences are helping me. Memory issues, emotion issues. Lack of intelligence. Cognition impairment. Lack of constructing even two sentences with a thought. No inner monologue for years. Withdrawal sucks.Even with slow tapering. I will celebrate my small victories. I will be back. Thank you ❤︎
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I watched this video months ago and I just thought about rewatching it again this morning. I tried to explain this to my family but they just look at me like I’m a hypochondriac. this whole time I’ve been so concerned with what psych meds did to me? And it makes me feel better that I’m not alone in feeling like they have to relearn a lot of things.. but I have really not been the same and it’s been months since I’ve been off of them now. I miss my old life.. I miss how I used to be. It’s so hard to live my life how I want to live it now an no medical professional believes they the meds have truly dampened my quality of life. I have no drive no passion, no inner monologue, no insight or prospective on things. I truly hate myself for starting meds bc well.. I didn’t need them. Just wanted to say thank you for your post.. it’s created a small community group in the comment section and I’m very grateful.
