Transactional Analysis 1: ego states & basic transactions

'How do i handle someone who talks over me so often and makes false accusations of me constantly?' —In this situation, boundaries need to be reestablished. This can be done by behaving differently — with thoughtless interrupters, I sometimes just continue talking and train them into the idea that interrupting won't work. If they persist, I might draw their attention to it and ask them directly not to talk over me. If things don't improve, I'd probably cut off interactions, telling them why.

The more I see, the more I realize there is a shit-ton of knowledge in this world.

I dont know how I found this channel, but I’m glad I did.

i always knew i had a problem with my relationships either being me dependent on the other person, or the other person being dependent on me, but I never really knew there was a name for this process. I have a lot of trouble seeing other people as adults, I typically either see them as parents or children.

I think the reason I didn't like some of my high school teachers is that they acted like parents, whereas I wanted to be treated as an adult

@bloodsteam 'What exactly is it you do for a living?' —Oh I have my fingers in a few pies but psychology and design are the biggest wedges.

Your TA videos helped me get out of an abusive relationship. Thank you.

Yesterday I had a really great interaction with my dad. He was talking to me about a subject we're both knowledgable about but have different opinions on. Usually I don't have the energy to maintain an Adult response to his usual 'my opinion = truth' type way of Parent-demanding-a-Child way of talking, but yesterday I did, and his normally aggrivating behaviour didn't bother me at all - it amused me :). Also, because I maintained a calm Adult state, his Parent state got a bit wobbly and started to become more of an Adult state. It was great! So yeah, thanks for putting words to these states and encouraging healthy thoughts and responses, friend. :)

Having spent a good part of ~10-11 years in the psychology field I finally understood the purpose of illustrating these types of things in a metaphorical way. Originally my assumption was that these things, in this context the 3 ego states, were a factual reflection of what is actually going on. However it has only recently become apparent to me that illustrating things through metaphor is merely a tool to reflect the minutia of what we understand about what is actually going on. I honestly feel like once I stumbled upon this realization that everything I knew about psychology has become a bit of a "this isn't actually what is going on, but it's close enough to be useful in helping people" type ordeal, and going back through old videos like this one feels weird.

this, this! THIS is the type of video i come to youtube to see, informative and objective, i had to sift through alot of shit in order to get to this pearl.

I think this is a wonderful introduction to the Ego States, but something very important has not been demonstrated or alluded to - and that's the Adult - Adult transaction, what that would sound and look like, such as between the boss and the employee who comes late to work. A perfect opportunity to assign and assume responsibility.

This should be very helpful for me, I find myself falling into the child state too often, I feel uncomfortable on the very rare occasions I'm forced into the parent state, but to be able to objectify this so well should help me stay in the adult state as much as I can. Now I know what it's called, so I can identify it more easily. Edit: what I'm saying is thank you!

Damn i really be constantly flipping between parent/child in the most unhelpful ways. Parent towards most thing, most interactions, child when it comes to my own personal life and decisions.

Very good. But the voices freaked me out. They put me into my child state.

Learning about this as a ten year old is really interesting!

From what I can tell, I'm actually fairly good at staying mostly in my Adult state, and my Parenting state is far more nurture leaning, in part because my adult state sees that as the most reasonable, logical, and fair thing to do, and I nurture more with logical reasoning than belittlement and protectiveness. I don't have perfect control of it though, my child state leads me to isolate myself sometimes, probably due to my anxiety, but often when I find I'm doing so, I can enter a conversation with myself as an adult and objectively evaluate the situation (or at least as close to objectivity as the human mind is capable of). This interplay of them might suggest that these aren't 3 completely distinct and isolated states we switch between, but rather a spectrum of states that build off of each other and flow between each other, just like many other parts of life.

I used to view everybody as an equal, until a narcissist groomed me two years ago, he was quite patronizing and infantilized me from time to time. I somehow lost myself after that and began to behave differently. Thought about your videos on transactional analysis recently and am glad I re-watched them. They remind me of my "adult" more mature side. :)

if you read the writing of Libby Anne over at "Love Joy Feminism" she has a parenting strategy (I think it's called "positive parenting", she often blogs about it) that involves relating to her children as equals in many ways. I thought it was much preferable to more authority centered approaches.

I'm still relatively new to TA, and can't believe how helpful it is, especially when the concepts are presented in such an easy to digest form as in these excellent videos you have made. Thank you so much!

I was looking for accounting lesson(Transaction analysis) But I got to here, anyway I am happy, I learned good things here :)))