Late Autism Diagnosis in Adulthood (Learning to Move Forward)

Wow, thank you for sharing. It's exactly what I needed to hear. It's been less than a month since learning I'm (counselor diagnosed, but not officially tested yet as locally there's a long waiting list and a high cost) autistic. I have so much to learn, but I've already experienced thoughts and several of the stages that you describe. It helped me a lot to not feel alone and to accept the emotional journey this will be.

When you started saying "you did a good job", I straight up started crying... part of processing my late diagnosis for me was realizing how cruel I was being to myself for my entire life, for something I have no control over. Being able to say, "you were doing your best" is SO hard to hear, even coming from myself, but it's SO important that we can tell ourselves that, and it's the only way I feel I like we can start our healing. Thank you so much for sharing. <3

Thank you so much! Reeling from last week's confirmation of self-Dx (age 59). Pushed myself SO HARD my whole life. Thought I'd gone through all of the steps after self-Dx - denial, grieving, bargaining, resentment, sadness, but it keeps cycling through. Thank you for walking the rest of us us through this powerful, life-changing and difficult time.

Thank you for including both your negative self talk and your forgiveness of self 🖤 that was so cathartic for me, I appreciate your putting this piece in your video production.

You made me cry for the child we gave such a hard time. 💔 been through the same process. So hard to move forward once I got to that self exceptance witha formal dx and to reinvent myself at 60 after raising 5 kids to become financially able to support myself. Feel helpless, hopeless tried just about everything over the years. So hard but I have to have faith 😊

I think it’s really important to share that autism has a huge spectrum. You can be the higher end you could be in the lower end you could be in the middle. We’re all over the place, but we all fit in somewhere!

I was diagnosed at 60. I was working on processing grief of the death of a family member with a psychologist. She asked if I had ever considered taking being tested. I knew about autism from my raising my autistic, and hearing impaired son. I’m not like him, so didn’t think I would be on the spectrum. I always thought my difference was because I came from an ultra religious, strict family that were perceived as weird by others. My dad was a bully too. He liked punishing his children. My reaction the diagnosis was denial, numbness, depressed. Because once again I was “ not good enough, and autism can’t be fixed.” Thank goodness for a supportive husband. I am starting to accept my autism. Thank you for this channel.

Thank you for sharing this. I was literally just diagnosed last week and I am on the rollercoaster now. I just turned 47 and I had been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and giftedness! It feels like I had been living a lie my whole life just to please others. My job, my family, and everyone else. I no longer have any friends, not because I am not liked, but I was getting tired of being manipulated or made to feel like I am different. Luckily I had already accepted myself and choose to love myself because I felt no one else did. Now I know my complete self, and my journey begins now! But now after my diagnosis I feel so alone, more alone than I ever have. I have subscribed to your channel as it sounds like we were on similar paths in life. I am a successful professional but a failure at being human, or what I was led to believe. I do not see myself as being depressed, just sad because I am so desperate to reach out to others like myself, to find a community where I am accepted and not judged. Where I am not taken advantage of by another narcissistic person. Thanks for making the channel and sharing your autistic brain. Sorry for the long comment. Thank you and take care!

What made it worse for me was my father abandoned me and my mother when I was about 5. When I changed to a new school and was badly bullied - I had such low self esteem - that I just accepted all the bullying - I didn't fight back or stand up for myself and when everyone was telling me to repeat the words... 'Say you are shit Jason. Say you are shit. You're shit.' I would just repeat it to them 'I am shit.' and then they would laugh out loud. I started to believe it about myself. Everyone was telling me I was no good and that nobody wanted to be my friend. The whole world was always my enemy, so I have always treated everyone else as the enemy. When I think back now on how purely horrible everyone was toward me, and not one person came and stood up for me when I was very vulnerable - I still find that despicable - I was an innocent young boy that just wanted to make friends with everyone, and I didn't deserve what I got. There were much worse things which happened along the way but I won't go into those now... just know that they were very bad.

Your experience is so much like mine going thru diagnosis. I was diagnosed this February. I was 48. It was such a relief to know. I told everyone I am a really crappy neurotypical but a freaking amazing autistic person. I also, have accomplished a tremendous amount of things in my life. I pushed myself so hard. Nowadays I give myself more grace and I’m only pushing until it’s mildly uncomfortable, not until it’s traumatic. I may achieve less, but my peace of mind will be more. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there and being so well spoken regarding your experiences. Thank you for being an advocate for us ❤

I'm 61, I have suspected that I was autistic for the past 30 yes. But last November my daughter said Dad do you not know your autistic, I was a bit surprised. I decided to get tested, I still have a 2 to 3 year wait. I've been self testing and I've been surprised as to how high I score in some of the tests. I have decided to just say I'm autistic. I am having similar thoughts to the ones you described, but I'm having issues with myself as I've been masking behaviours so much they are near normal. I still have a lot to work through, I think I may start my own channel because most of the ones I see, tend to be 30s 40s and still in touch with there thoughts.

You put that together pretty well, and was informative. I really haven't seen anyone else address it and sum it up this way before. This video was really helpful. I think I'm older than you. But, recently I think I heard in a scientific type video that researchers are now finding out that around 90 % of adult Autistics over the age of 50 are still undiagnosed. That reality really needs to hit home in the Autistic and non-Autistic communities.

I didn't get an official diagnosis until I was Age 31. Prior to that, I always felt out of step and not able to keep up with others. At the same time, I had hobbies that really weren't common, and it was very hard to make friends. The lion's share of these challenges were overcome during adulthood. Having the diagnosis changed my outlook, and definitely for the better. Good video! 🙏

I am 53M and was diagnoses earlier this year. You were expecting Bi Polar and I was expecting ASD1. I was diagnosed as High Functioning ASD2, ADHD Inattentive, GAD and that led to clinical depression. That was a huge punch to absorb. You mention hating your younger self. As I (we) looked back at my life (as all of us adults do when we are diagnosed), I found myself missing the young man that I was before I discovered that I was different than everyone else. That was a happy a happy kid that was oblivious to the fact that he was different. Also not knowing what I should have known meant that I tried things that I shouldn't. "You can't do that because of XYZ". So because I didn't know any better, I'd do them anyway and sometimes I would succeed. Other thing that I should have know and should been preparing for, like College, I just didn't because I didn't know I should be. However as I grew, I realized that I was different and that I felt like an alien. I felt like everyone else got the "how to be a human" manual and mine was lost in the mail. It was then that I thought that I just sucked at being a human. Obviously I had issues that others didn't. Clearly I must be slow because everyone else seemed to get it. I was super hard on myself to just push harder and now I am like a worn pencil as I figure this all out. I was able to push harder and I have a respectable job as a senior level engineer. I've been employed by the same big bank for 28 years. But to get here, I crushed myself. And like you, I am trying to figure out how to be the person I should be. And like you, I've turned my Autism in to one of my Special Interests. If they figured out we were different in the 70's or 80's (for me) of the 80's or 90's for you, can you imagine what they would have done to us? I am glad we slipped through the cracks to get diagnosed later in life. Although it was rough on us, we would have been institutionalized if we didn't get missed. What meds and medical procedures would they have done to us? I am glad we missed that. We have gone done very similar paths and we finally have our answers. We are all here for each other and I am always happy to talk it over with others. Reddit has been a great place for us to talk too. Big hugs and great job both with your path and your channel. Thanks!

Thank you so much for your honesty, your description of this process is spot on. - I got diagnosed at age 51 after a lifetime of (unintentional) strenuous masking. Me, too, I'm authentic nowadays. Me, myself and I are getting along just fine, and in hinsight, I have come to realize that 50 years of struggle have resulted in me being much more self-reflected than most neurotypicals, and also very competent in many areas of life. Five years after diagnosis, I'm no longer feeling the anger you describe about being expected to go the extra mile, I simply don't do it any more. I respect neurotypicals inspite of the shortcomings of THEIR brains, and I expect the same in return ;-). Mirjam

yes I was ghosted by a few friends when I told them I was autistic, how sad. Not real fiends, clearly. Thank you for sharing all of this, truly appreciated.

Thank you for your transparency and advocacy!

When you began talking about your inner child, your story and description were SPOT ON … right down to the age of 7 (which is the age I attach to most of the childhood memories I recall). Wow, man. THANK YOU for your transparency — and the validation. ✨💪🥺✨

I can't get over how many women are being diagnosed in their 40s with a staggering amount having been misdiagnosed with something else. im going through the diagnostic process, and this video is on my saved list now❤ so eloquently put❤ Thank you X

thanks for walking us thru this process with your story. we are all walking together. love this community