The Real Risk of Forgiveness–And Why It’s Worth It | Sarah Montana | TEDxLincolnSquare

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Published 2018-05-07

Forgiveness is tricky. Everyone says you should forgive, but no one will tell you how, exactly, to do it. And is it always possible—even for something as traumatic as gun violence? In this vulnerable and heartfelt talk, writer Sarah Montana takes us through her journey of forgiving her family’s killer. She offers an inside look at what we risk when we choose to forgive, and a hopeful glimpse of the freedom that lies on the other side of grief. Sarah Montana is a NYC based writer, editor, and branded content producer. She has ghost written book proposals for celebrity experts, some of which have been sold to publishers for six figures. She creates and shapes content for authors and business owners, including ebooks, reality TV pitches, articles, memoirs, and marketing copy. She is also a playwright and creates her own original content. Her most recent play, The Girl, The Ghosts, and the Minotaur was selected for a staged reading at Life Jacket Theater Company’s 2017 Proof of Concept Reading Series in New York City. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

All Comments (21)

@aubreyalvarez7396 4 years ago

“Choosing myself was more important than being right”. That hit me.
@lyssphan7700 5 years ago

“Forgiveness is a designed to set you free. When you say I forgive you, what you’re really saying is, I know what you did it’s not okay but I recognize that you are more than that. I don’t want to hold us captive to this thing anymore. I can heal myself and I don’t need anything from you.” Damn
@moniopolis 4 years ago

This idea of "too soon to forgive" takes all the pressure off that I never knew I had
@jonathanbowens2401 6 years ago

One of the most perfect Ted talks I've ever seen. I love how you poured your heart into it while combining humor and intelligence. And still being deep and keeping us focused on your story. I'm sharing. Bravo madam.
@LamNguyen-xh3rb 5 years ago

"Forgiveness is only right when waiting for what we're owed comes at too high a cost"
@stillnessspeaks1180 5 years ago

This is the best talk on forgiveness I have ever heard. I was struggling to forgive some people in my life terribly. Thank you so much for the talk.
@jonathanchow3401 5 years ago

Thanks Sarah. I can't forgive my dad for the past and though I am still not able to, I now know why, and in time, maybe I can. I cried watching this. I cant tell you how much your share helped me.
@alyssastroh6558 4 years ago

This talk is so profound and absolutely AMAZING! I love Jesus and grew up in a Christian household all my life, where I heard more sermons on forgiveness than I can ever count, but also felt like not a single one of them gave practical ways in how to walk through that forgiveness process. This talk did it all in the span of 15 minutes. AMAZING!
@justinkitto9756 5 years ago

One of my absolute favorite TED talks! She's so authentic...and she's right.
@cindyfarrimond8093 10 months ago

Wow! This talk is amazing. It took me 60 years to forgive my father. That's a long time to have a hook in you.
@joi4705 4 years ago

Sarah, baby, this was church...God Bless & thank you for sharing your story. Your bravery is helping more ppl than you know🙌🏽
@adliberate 5 years ago

I love how you show your grief, still hold it with you in the present. Bless your mum and dad and family.
@savannahglenn8909 4 years ago

this brought me to tears. I’m working on forgiving people who aren’t sorry and have done unacceptable things to me, this helped. thank you
@jasminnairobi8940 5 years ago

I’ve seen a lot of ted talks. This was the most inspiring I’ve ever seen.
@kkurova9345 4 years ago

My boyfriend was murdered by his dad, and he hasn't had his trial yet. I'm not ready to forgive, but this video gave me hope that some day I might be.
@wise-up-parenting 6 years ago

Extremely moving, and poetically delivered, filled with inspiring metaphor, wisdom, and a refreshing new way to understand the grieving process. Thank you!
@IawakenedOne 1 year ago

Sarah, I cannot thank you enough. The contrast of my pain against yours and the undeniable expression of thorough comprehension through the embodiment of truth has brought a clarity I have yet to truly know. You didn't just save yourself; you saved a piece of humanity with this video. From the center of my existence, Thank You.
@TryingToBeLikeJesus 6 years ago

I never knew you, Jim, or your mom personally but my and jim's choir director (Mr. Tutwiler) showed us this video. I never thought when I first watched this that I would watch it again so many times or show other people it as much as I have. This presentation has touched me and so many others more than I could have thought of. Thank you so much for sharing this story to the world and what exactly the real risk of forgiveness was.
@megalosauru 5 years ago

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes
@growwithsonia 2 years ago

How does this video not have millions of views? This woman spoke not just her heart out but ultimate truth. Wouldn't be exaggerating if I said she taught me many lessons on how to live today and forever. God bless you always ♥️