A Fully Narrative Wargame Experiment - TURNIP28 Battle Report

For those confused, the opening introduction isn’t a parody. That’s really what the world of TURNIP28 is like - it's a grimdark Monty Python sketch.

The image of a completely checked-out officer half-heartedly ordering his men to cannibalize each other, until a Mushroom Man stands alone, overcome with righteous purpose, and somehow fires 45 shots in 6 seconds with a goddam musket...is so overwhelmingly funny that I had to pause the video because I was laughing too hard.

I like the subtle gag of Hagilda very clearly getting a Saloon and a Salon mixed up

"Hi, welcome to hell, war is hell boys, I'd like to order." - Toadie Grubhub, c. 2800 AD Spoken like a true footstuber.

Would the mushroom man's religion version of the cross be a red paste elephant footprint

I like to imagine the narrator is the canon voice for The Root, mannerisms and all.

I'm pretty sure bowel loosening charge is supposed to mean that the targets loosen their bowels because of the charge but this way is funnier

“Once a upon a time, in a land too close for comfort” is an absolutely underrated line

You guys instantly converted me to this game on the first turn alone. A unit eating all but one of itself so it can throw a duck load of attacks at the enemy is just too fun for words!

I love the rancid, dumbass vibes just roiling off of this setting. You simply must show us more of this.

was turnip28 like created specifically for you people or what? it is staggering how well the humor and vibe lines up

Genuinely, I'd watch you guys play and narrate with whatever you have on hand. Bring out sock puppets and just roll some stones around while making funny voices, and I'd still be having the time of my life.

Turnip28 is such an underrated setting. It's basically a Monty Python's flying Circus in grimdark universe.

The Phlogiston Hag babies aremy favorite faction, I hope their next codex will finally do them justice 🙏

Just going to leave marks for the Mushroom Man Saga here: 3:30 His first appearance. 4:28 He is Chosen! 4:35 Candles to be snuffed. 5:13 A Knight's faith awakens. 8:26 Mushy needs a snacky. 9:09 Suddenly, a spike in blood sugar! 10:10 The Duel begins! 11:11 Acceptance and Salvation. 13:25 Church of the New Son of Man.

Mushroom Man's story was truly powerful, a solemn tale of ambition, loss, hope, bravery, defiance, acceptance of the futility and war and finally sacrifice. May all remember the story of the New Son of Man.

Turnip28 is a thought experiment, I'm sure. Someone couldnt afford Warham figs, so they used vegetables instead. When they were done, they said “Hey, I'm onto something.”

This is borderline experimental

A thrilling tale of the 23-year War of the Straight and Narrow Path, between the forces of Knog Karola von Richtensteinhophenburgerdorf and Hagilda de Louisouisouisou over the great and fantastic purpose of redrawing a small municial footpath. This war dragged on for 23 long years and yielded a total of 25 casualties, 11 of which were from cannibalism. The result was the creation of the Parish of the Faith of the Unbegotten Shroom, a small, bustling tax haven with a population of five. As classic a European tale as Saint George and the Dragon, you can well see!

initial dialogue/dispute is pure gold. I can't get enough of the Knög voice, like the advertiser for Hobby Shopen, one of Alfabusa's best and silliest voices