We need to change the conversation about fathers | Anna Machin | TEDxClapham

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Published 2018-07-19

Dr. Anna Machin is an Oxford University-based evolutionary anthropologist, author, and broadcaster who has spent ten years researching the psychology, biology, and behaviour of new fathers. Here she explains why this new-found knowledge means that we need to change how we talk about dads, moving away from lazy stereotypes, to acknowledge their unique and special role in their children's lives and the power they hold to bring about real positive changes to inequality in our society. Dr. Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, science writer, and broadcaster based at the University of Oxford. She researches the evolution, neuroscience, psychology and biology of our closest relationships; lover to lover, friend to friend, parent to child. She is passionate about sharing the outcomes of her work with the public and helping to make all our relationships healthier and happier. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

All Comments (21)

@fastede52 4 years ago

I have raised my son since his birth, 15 years ago. I am a solo father and my son excels in everyway. He is my life
@simonmorrison8570 3 years ago

I'm sitting her watching this video to make notes for a court statement on why its important for my daughter that I be allowed to play an active role in her life, to be regularly present in her life. I'm having to do this because of a toxic Mother more interested in punishing me than the well being of her child. The fact that I have to go to court to beg and plead for regular access is infuriating. I'm literally vibrating with anxiety and anger.
@eyeswideopen67 3 years ago

Fathers need to be treated equally in family court and not be pushed out of the children's lives if the Mothers chose to do so.
@aaronersoy3888 2 years ago

This is validation. This is important, I cried during her presentation because regularly no one praises dad for his multiple roles, the difficulties we face. The trial and error and isolation at times when you are trying so hard but are viewed as failing. This is validation. That we are important, that I am important and crucial.
@bobsmockus 3 years ago

This was excellent. As a soon-to-be father of a son, I'm very happy knowing somebody believes in these ideas.
@bayardovalle2999 5 years ago

She represented us beautifully
@hel-9456 2 years ago

I am one of the very rare number fathers who can say that my personal experience during my wife's pregnancy was truly a wonderful one. From the first appointment with the midwife, to being visited by our health visitor after the birth of our daughter. I was always made to feel included, I was always asked if I was OK, I felt like I mattered. One thing I would do when my wife was pregnant was sing at her belly every night because I wanted to do something to let my little girl know that I was here too. It sounds silly I know. When she was born and I held her for the first time, one of the midwives gave her a vitamin K jab which set her off crying, so I started to sing to her and immediately she stopped crying and fell asleep in my arms. In that moment I felt that bond and I believe wholeheartedly that my role as a father being treated with the same respect as my wife's role as a mother from the very beginning, was a huge contribution to building that immediate bond between me and my daughter.
@michaeljenks6259 4 years ago

Taking up to "6 months" for dad's to fully bond with the child resonated with me. My wife was pushing for me to be a stay at home dad once we married, but I didn't really want to - until my son was 4 months old. When he was 6 months old, I went an quit my day job. It took 2 months to work my mind around the issue. Now I'm a stay-at-home dad and realtor. Still able to make some money for my ego AND take care of my son. I'll disagree with other commenters about "end of the West" - it may take a generation, but we'll be fine in the long run.
@kdsuibhne 3 years ago

Some mothers have no business being parents. Some children suffer due to courts forcing them to live with their bad mothers. Some fathers make better parents than mothers.
@Freighttrain27 2 years ago

Just found out we’re pregnant. As a future first time father this was the motivation I needed!
@S30raiden 3 years ago

I was watching the Simpson's the other day the 1st episode being the Christmas episode, their was a scene where Lisa schools her Aunt about the importance of fathers with notes of feminism which supports men too. Very progressive on day one.
@fiyahriddims 1 year ago

As a Father of 6, I've known from the start that I had to become a better man,so that I could be here for my children. Now I'm the grateful granddad to their children. It's good to stand as a man,to have little one's look up to you.
@toker6664 3 years ago

What always annoys me is women saying to dads "your babysitting" no just being a father
@dasshorts7800 3 years ago

It’s a travesty that this topic can only be broached by a woman. Imagine a father up there talking about this? He’d be dismissed immediately.
@TheNavaneethkrishnan 13 days ago

Key point - It takes a whole village to grow a child. Thanks
@mrstarnation4171 4 years ago

Why isnt this more famous
@AlexMerryEsq 5 years ago

I’d never thought about fatherhood in this way before. Thanks dad (and Anna)! Great talk
@pgrahamcpa 3 years ago

She sounds like Denzel Washington, Her words are so powerful.
@Iceburg814 3 years ago

Thank you for bringing this to attention.
@marcusflatt9084 3 years ago

Has anyone else considered how insulting it is to be told that "biological dad" can be easily replaced with "Step-Dad", "Adoptive Dad", or "Dad Figure"?