The Science Of Building Genuine Friendships - David Robson

Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Are We in a Loneliness Crisis? 04:09 How Important is Social Connection? 09:33 The Expectation Effect in Loneliness 13:40 Impact of Loneliness on Creativity & Finances 18:13 Quality or Quantity of Friends? 25:21 Categorising People as Introvert & Extrovert 33:31 Developing the Art of Conversation 44:10 How to Express Appreciation Better 48:33 Why You Need More Self-Compassion 58:29 The Novelty Penalty in Storytelling 1:03:12 Does Lying Ever Have Value? 1:10:56 How Much Should You Talk About Successes? 1:18:55 Why You Should Ask for Help More 1:24:27 Overcoming the Gratitude Gap 1:28:17 How to Heal Bad Feelings With Others 1:35:40 David’s Favourite Study From the Book 1:40:15 Where to Find David

There's a clear distinction between being alone and being lonely.

You can see in David's eyes how much he enjoys his work, it makes him all the more engaging. He comes across as a really likeable guy, so I guess that speaks volumes for his work on the subject 😂

My family is autistic and we've had trouble getting others to accept us and be reciprocating even when we practice and employee many of these techniques. We're already very grateful people who ask questions, with follow up, masking stims and avoiding narrow topics like ancient Greek farming, but we can't find folks who will are willing to connect, we are perhaps too honest? Not rude but intense and different. My kids crave community and friends and belonging. We are closed off.

It's difficult to get people to look away from their devices long enough to get to know them. Plus, the high cost of basic living means that most of us are scrambling from one obligation to the next every day. Meeting people who share one's interests- if they even have the time to develop interests - is challenging in most places.

I grew up very lonely in school with no friends but it taught me to love to be alone which has shaped me into needing few friends as an adult. Being social at work is the hardest for me. I don't like when I use all my social energy at work and then come home with little energy for the ones I love. Thankfully I don't have to interact with too many people on a daily basis.

I’m introverted but I enjoy being social a lot. It fills my cup very quickly and then I’m satiated for a long time. It’s overwhelming when I have more than my fill of interactions.

I would love to start a meetup on people who listen to these podcasts and are as strongly interested in personal growth and knowledge as the people who love every one of these things.

Making true friends is really difficult. Most people will never be more than acquaintances

Incredible episode. It's rare to find so much insight at the right moment in time. It is truly fascinating to give the chance to someone unknown to you and find such a genuine and passionate person, like David happened to be in this episode. Thank you for the provocative conversation, really hit the nail right on the head.

This hits home. Loneliness isn't just a modern thing though; it's been around forever, tied as much to our own minds as to our surroundings. Sure, tech and lifestyle changes matter, but our own psychological barriers play a big role too. It's crucial to take responsibility for our own social connection. It's about using tech wisely and making an effort to connect genuinely with others. I find the best way to genuinely connect with others is to be open and honest about what actually inside my head and heart. If they aren't bothered with that, we're no more than acquaintances.

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

No one is keeping tabs on the social decay we are experiencing. People are lonely because everyone is a Jim or a John. People are screwed up by modern society and they are taught to be extremely narcissistic, self- centered, and don't know how to be an actual friend. They have no ability to set their own comfort aside for a moment to be there for someone else. People give up on the idea that the good ones are "out there" somewhere. This is the same reason why dating doesn't work for so many. People in our society have lost the ability to have good relationships. The best you can hope for is two people being narcissistic jerks to each other

This was such a wholesome video - thanks so much both of you!

Thank you for yet another effort to make people both feel and do better in every day life! ❤ I really enjoyed your conversation; You are both nice to listen to, and you deliver your message clearly, based on the profound and yet pragmatic questions by Chris, explained clearly by David, demonsrating his deep and holistic knowledge of the topic. 👍 (I personally did not mind the frequent use of the word 'like', as I focused on the message and the several meaningful and pragmatic points and pieces of advise you were sharing) Many greetings from Finland, now reaching the peak season of "the white nights". 🙋‍♀️

So important. Thank you!

The real key is, don't be poor.

Hello Chris: On the subject of "emotional distancing", in Australia, in the 1980's there was a reality tv program called "Sylvania Waters". It was a wealthy family who didn't get on. On a radio program at the time, I heard about a real life couple who were having an argument. One of them asked the question "What would this look like if tv cameras were here." Both them stopped arguing immediately. Have a lovely day.

Why do I keep hearing 'Time Passages' by Al Stewart when I hear this gentleman talk. Wonderfull.

These "fast friendship" questions sound a bit more interesting, but, as a general rule, asking someone biographical questions or really most types of question is the kiss of death for conversation.