Narcissistic Family vs HEALTHY FAMILY: 11 Essential Traits

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If only this was taught in schools and institutions, so that everyone could learn this before having babies. I never knew this when growing up.

My father passed away three days ago. I am having a hard time dealing with losing him. He was the only one left who knew how the others were and would be honest about it. My heart is forever going to have an empty place that he filled

This is helpful for those of us that grew up in dysfunctional families so that we can get a better picture of what "normal" is.

It really is like 2 different planets when we compare healthy nontoxic family systems to toxic narcissistic family systems😳🤯.

My dad was always quick to quote "children obey your parents" from Ephesians, but had nothing to say when I reminded about the rest of the verse on fathers not embittering the children. I'll be 31 this week and he still uses the verse as a type of control, had to accept the fact that although i'm not seen as an adult in the house, doesnt make it true.

Your videos are amazing. No matter how far I've come in terms of healing I still listen to your videos regularly as my upbringing roots are a dormant virus on my soul and your videos are the antidote to keep my old unhealthy thoughts and habits in check. Thanks you!!!

My dysfunctional family to a tee. Mom will say, I’m you and you’re me. Dad will say, Honor thy Mother and Father. Combine that with diabetes and a continuous supply of opioids and other pills. This equals crazier very old people😢😢😢

My takeaways about ideal Healthy Families from this video: 1. Everyone is able to communicate their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or retaliation. 2. Everyone's privacy is respected. 3. Everyone feels supported in their goals and aspirations. 4. Everyone is willing to work together to solve problems and conflicts, and each is willing to compromise when necessary. 5. Everyone has a good sense of humor. 6. There's a good balance between everyone's independence and interdependence. 7. Everyone shows LOVE and affection. 8. Everyone trusts each other and holds each other accountable, while being understanding and okay with mistakes. Mistakes are not taken personally. 9. Everyone has a sense of belonging and each family member feels respected, valued, and important to the family. 10. Everyone stays calm and no one overreacts. 11. Everyone takes responsibility for themselves. It's so nice to learn about healthy families and what they look like. I always want to know what healthiness is. Thank you Jerry Wise. If you come from a healthy family and you marry into a dysfunctional one, you cannot fix, manage, control, or influence them to be healthier. I learned that the hard way. If your own family is dysfunctional you likewise cannot get them to become healthy. I could even see everyone agreeing to all these ideals of a healthy family, and thinking they do it right like this, but then being unable to actually be this way as they live their lives.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My sister and I became roomates after the pandemic to save money. It's been a few years of ongoing work to get her to trust me enough to have healthy communication. If I ask her a clarifying question, she becomes defensive, if I even glance in her direction she assumes I am judging or attacking her. Things are much better know, as I am persistent in that demonstrating that I can be forthcoming and open with her, and that my questions are not meant to be an interrogation or trap. It has taken a lot of patience but worth the effort.

Thanks for another great video! My husband grew up in a happy, functional family exactly like you described. I am envious every day that he got to become the confident calm adult because of his family.

This was very helpful, as adults of dysfunctional families they most times have no idea what healthy relationships are. Thank you, Suzanne LVN

Based on this video I have the most dysfunctional family on the planet

This video makes it plain as day that I came from a highly toxic and dysfunctional family of origin. I have made changes to get the family of origin out of me so it does not effect my son.

I don’t know where to go from here. I am running out of steam but I still appreciate your videos. I’ve been in therapy for years and….I am tired.

This is an excellent video on the differences between healthy & dysfunctional families. Unfortunately I recognise more of the dysfunctional traits in my family.

I only realised my familly was bad after i met my husband's familly. Now my parents are not part of my life, but i couldnt be more happy with the actual loving familly i got from my in-laws and their parents

I remember when I was in my early twenties someone tried to hug me for the first time. I had no idea what to do and felt really uncomfortable. It wasn't until years later when I saw my friends hugging their kids that I realized how off my family was. I always thought kids were supposed to be afraid of their parents.

This is so helpful thank you! I would love a follow-up video with examples of these healthy behaviors. My family was so dysfunctional that you can use words to describe healthy families, and even though I know what the words mean, I sometimes have trouble even imagining what those behaviors "look like" in practice. I often feel as though I am an alien, I grew up in such a broken way that I don't know how to human. I will often be surprised that something I had never even thought about is "normal" for others. For example I didn't realize that people from healthy families are not overly afraid of being assertive, because they are operating with the baseline assumption that most conflicts CAN be resolved 🤯🤯🤯

Super helpful. The descriptions of the dysfunctional family describe exactly my family of origin. I appreciated you listing the characteristics of both functional and dysfunctional families. I had to learn this and am still learning. Concise, packed full of information, super helpful. Thank you