Love Never Dies: A Magnificent Musical Trashfire Sequel to Phantom of the Opera

“We can’t all be Christine” High school theatre kids at a party would beg to differ.

My wife and I saw a showing of this on tour. At the end she asked me "Was there anyone to root for?" And I answered "The gun."

Opinion: "Only ten years OOOOOLD" is the musical theater equivalent of "Somehow Palpatine returned"

If the women I was ready to sacrifice my life for was still thirsting after the said person/serial killer who tried to end my life I’d probably be a drunk as well

"So, Christine dies..." Well she's not named Christine Live-ae is she?

"despite his virgin status he hits it and quits it like 30 times in one night. stamina. phamina." i am SOBBING

The Phantom determines that Gustav is his son because he's musical. Because of course there's no musical talent on his mother's side of the family.

Okay, but giving the Phantom an entire song about hyping up taking off his mask only for his son to deliver the hottest burn ever is hilarious.

Love Never Dies has the same energy as a direct-to-DVD Disney sequel

“We can’t all be Like Christine” has the grace and emotional understanding of “Shut up Meg.”

"See how I glitter" "I'm losing to a bird!" "I ate the whole plate" ... and now "Give me the gun Meg"

Something about the Phantom singing "Give me the gun, Meg" actually broke me.

Imagine being so stone cold that you sing a ballad called "Love Never Dies" while actively planning on leaving your hubby for a serial killer

Christine sleeping with the Phantom minutes after the original story was over is fucking hilarious It's like after the curtains fell, she was like "Oh hey I gotta go pick up some stuff at my Ex's place, don't worry I'm not gonna sleep with him or anything"

Love Never Dies is the epitome of bad fanfiction where everyone is horribly out of character all for the sake of the author's OTP.

Love the fact Erik "so touch starved that he died from a forehead kiss" is apparently so gifted that on his first night, my dude was clapping cheeks to the tempo of 120bpm. That Wap's got power-

Why couldn't Webber save that weirdly orgasmic sounding song about "tasting/accepting/embracing the beauty underneath-YES!" for the Phantom reseducing Christine? WHY have him sing like that to his own son?!

my pitch for a phantom sequel would involve christine becoming a new phantom because she's pissed off that she can't get any roles once she hits 40

The grossest thing about this is how post-divorce, ALW wrote/commissioned a story in which: - The young singer, a role originated by his ex-wife, regrets not choosing the genius composer; - She confesses that she still loves him; - And then she dies

This whole love child thing just gets me. In the original show, there's literally a time skip while Christine is in the phantom's lair (in between Music of the Night and Stranger than you Dreamt It) during which they totally could have knocked metaphorical boots. Yes, it's suggested Christine is waking up after falling unconscious in the previous song, but she could have just been asleep after they did the horizontal tango. The movie even played with this idea by having her wake up without her stockings on. And she wasn't even a couple with Raoul at that point! Still makes infinity more sense than, "Oh, the whole ending is null and void now because as soon as the play ended she changed her mind and booked it straight back to the phantom and they totally had loads of crazy sex you guys."