Why I quit "non-duality" (and fell in love with our vulnerable humanity) - Jeff Foster

I've come to the conclusion that the biggest mistake I made during my spiritual journey has been to listen to others. Not only did this trigger comparisons whereby I was never good enough, but I finally realised everyone's quest and experience is their own. Much of what a spiritual teacher teaches is influenced by their own experience, whereas we are all called and given experiences uniquely our own. I now realise I probably wasted decades thinking this is not it, or that can't be right, just because it didn't line up with what a teacher had taught. It wasn't until I let all of that go, that there was a spiritual stirring inside.... something that was uniquely true to me that had been crowded out or buried under the layers of words, dogma and ideology that was actually foreign to me. Yes, listen to teachers, but not at the expense of sacrificing what is intuitive, pure and simple that has its source within, not from the world. I have come to understand that the only journey involved is the journey clearing the mental clutter and of turning inward.

Hearing this is saving me probably years of futility. Spirituality has to be simple, messy and loving. You expressed this so well.

One of the great poems of the Zen tradition ends with this description of the awakened state: “To be without anxiety about imperfection.”

Spiritual pride is the last trick of the ego and I'm not even convinced it can be eliminated. I think everyone has to move at their own pace and without comparing yourself to anyone else. It's why I try not to follow any one "spiritual teacher" for too long. Everyone says the truth is within yourself and I think that's the least dangerous path to follow. I believe there is no hierarchy of souls. There is no superior or inferior, only differences with different strengths and weaknesses, and all are essential. Thanks for reminding me.

Did you really quit non-duality as the title says? It appears that you understand non-duality better after realizing your also a human being.

The real miracle is not to walk on water but to walk on this earth❤

Not my experience with non-duality at all. In fact, if anything it made me understand my humanity better. It made me a better person, a more in touch, aware person. Sounds like you went through a huge push to remove that humanity. Because all that you are as a human with all the ups and downs is perfect. Thich Nhat Hanh said everything that happens is an event. Don't label anything or any emotion as good or bad, just sit with it, have the feeling don't fight it. I would hate to end up like what you described, or like some of the people in the comments. But I can understand why it can happen. Sorry you had an experience on this path we all walk that wasn't what you thought it was going to be. Stay in the moment my friend, that's where everything is.

Love this!!! If people are not aware and haven't done their emotional work on childhood wounds, emotional repression, etc. non-duality can be used to further emotional repression and other emotional issues that need to be addressed.

I was so disconnected to my body after my spiritual awakening and was so focused on Unity Consciousness. I felt like I had to kill my ego and felt a lot of shame and guilt because that wasn't happening. One day last year I just said I was done with this and that I am a human and I want to be here on this planet with all its intense feelings and experiences. All of the mundane human things are starting to bring me joy again. I am perfectly imperfect and the whole spiritual community is a huge turn off to me now thankfully. I still see God in each and every one of us and I'm thankful for my journey up to this point.

That is the sweetest and most authentic teaching I have heard in a long time. Thank you, love your humanness❤️

Being authentic is probably the best way to be for ourselves and others.. no games, just being honest, with integrity is the easiest way of being. Thank you for this candid conversation

After 17 years of meditations I quit even prolong sitting meditations. I realized I am an human now and I must go through this because I chose it that way. 😊 It doesn't mean my deep values changed but my attitude to the material life has to change. If I miss this point of my life so then I have to repeat this lesson over and over 🤦‍♀️ There is no other better way to bring "the light" to this world than to be a human with all humaness.❤

Thanks Jeff. I came to hear you and Matt Licata several years ago in London. As you started to speak a police siren went by and the look of annoyance that crossed your face told me you weren't really walking your talk. I know your path hasn't been easy but the depth of authenticity shining through this video is lovely to see. And you are so right, these paradoxes are the only real truths. Thankyou for sharing❤

Totally agree... I was also sucked in the non-dual world... But came to realise... That the emotional hurt and trauma's from childhood were betrayed... The inner child and all the uncomfortable emotional memories need to be embraced... In the non-dual way it is actually re-traumatizing the inner child... The trauma started in the formative years by being ignored, not seen... Etc... And then in adult life... The uncomfortable inner child comes up... And then it is said... You don't exist... I'm gonna ignore you... In this way you can never become "enlightened"... Because it will never be a whole embodiment of our total being... There will always be fragmented pieces of yourself that are suppressed... Awareness IS all-inclusive...

I'm crying right now because I was so confuse and guilty and asking "God" to help me, and I found this video...what a relief.Thanks you

Great jobJeff, I rode the non-dual train and was able to spiritually bypass all feelings, emotions, and traumas. But eventually found my non-dual perspective to be dual in nature, and in fact I was avoiding and shunning all of the natural human qualities and vulnerabilities everyone has. Non-duality at its core is summed up in the heart Sutra, which at its essence points to the need to not restrict or avoid anything. When you can love both sides of the equation, shit, and Shinola, then life becomes a great dance. No striving just loving.

I have been on this so-called "non-dual path" for two years now and I felt more and more cold and as if I just couldn't manage it. Your words reach so deeply into me and give me a feeling of warmth and connection and a liberating feeling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.

My sponsor from my 12 Steps fellowship started a few years ago going to retreats with Francis Lucille, she changed slowly in ways that made me feel uncomfortable, at times shaming me when I was grieving or upset with a personal issue. I had to distance myself from her, she is still very involved with his teaching going to his retreats several times a year. I love the way you engage with spiritual teaching, I am also doing Internal Family systems therapy which really embraces all our parts with love and compassion, no bad parts, the way to heal and embrace our shadows, not with shame. Thank you Jeff for speaking out. ❤

Even Ramana Maharshi said, "Be as you are." Very important message. Thank you.

That is exactly, more than exactly what I needed to hear this morning as I woke up berating myself for the vulnerability that I showed others yesterday. Thank you so very much for bringing me back to my glorious self/Self❤️