Neurological Dysregulation: The Hidden Trauma Symptom You MUST Heal First

Finding your channel will probably be the best thing that will ever happen to me. What you're doing is huge. Your knowledge and familiarity with the things you're talking about, your humor, your mannerisms...you were absolutely made for this work. Thank you❤

Cptsd is like a double edged sword. The person you had to become to win the war, is not the person you can take with you. You have to leave that soldier behind.

18 months ago I became disregulated. I walked into a bowling club after a 2 hour drive to collect takeaway I’d ordered for my grandmother, who I was and still do visit fortnightly. I had on a beanie, (it was cold and I’m bald) and a Covid face mask on. About 50 or so people were there as I walked in. I didn’t need to sign in because I was only getting takeaway, not drinking at the bar or poker machining. I was calm and tired, from the trip but had done this every fortnight for the previous 3 years without trouble, so I wasn’t expecting any surprises. I got about to the middle of the club walking with my back to the bar, when the barkeep asked me what I thought I was doing. I turned and told him I was picking up takeaway. The whole club suddenly had gone quiet and I felt like all eyes were on me. Turns out this bloke was a well know bonafide bully. I grew up with 2 of them in my family, older sister and father, and an enabling mother. When I was 12, I voluntarily went to boarding school, because I thought I’d be happier, change of scenery and all. I endured 4 years of abuse from other boys both physical, psychological and sexual from a head teacher. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in my mid 40’s. I was calm at first as he ordered me to remove my beanie; (only women are allowed to wear head wear)revealing my hairless dome.Some found it funny. Then he directed me over to the door I’d walked in, to the machine people sign in with, when they’re staying at the club for a drink or pokies, even staying for lunch. He either didn’t know or didn’t care that signing in for takeaway wasn’t a requirement. As he walked toward me I stated the obvious and said looks like someone’s having a power trip. Most bullies like to enjoy the feeling of power over another but when you call them out on it, it tends to deflate them. Especially if they’ve got a reputation for it. I think he realised I wasn’t a mouse; I was a bear in a mouse suit. As soon as we reached his destination, I became completely disregulated, every time he spoke, I spoke over him, I got right up as close as I could, filled with rage and told him why I was there, takeaway lunch, in a way I doubt he’d ever been spoken too before. I told him what I wasn’t there for, no bar and no pokies. The usual me had stepped aside and my protector had stepped in. They’re scared of nothing. This bloke was 6 foot + and I’m only 168 cm, so I was nearly tippy toeing it to get my point across . He was completely taken by surprise, couldn’t get a word in, couldn’t shut me up and eventually gave up. I told him his patrons hadn’t expected a show with their drinks but he gave them one, playing the flaccid bully. I put my beanie back on, got my takeaway and left. I can’t remember the drive to my Nan’s place but when I got there, I fell to pieces. Fortunately a friend of hers was there and when I told them what happened the friend knew who it was straight away. (Small town). Disregulation on this level is a once in a decade event, if that. My poor Nan had to watch me as desperately tried to pull all the shards and pieces back together; she’d never seen me like this ever. I took the time to tell her that this is what my family had done to me, her son. I hadn’t spoken to my family at that stage for over 5 years and Nan was encouraging me to reconcile and I told her as I agonizingly slowly reregulated myself, that this was why I couldn’t have a relationship with them. Because they had never changed their attitude toward me. I was their scapegoat child. That’s my disregulation story, sorry for the length. I rage at the object that’s triggered me with what I call the protector. When it leaves me there’s a pause, like being in the calm of a storm and then a tsunami of emotions just completely overwhelms me and it normally happens somewhere I can go and ride it out . But not that time. If you’ve got this far, thanks for reading I hope you got something out of it, take care.

Actually, some survivors knew that dysregulation was primarially a neurological event, but were mocked when we articulated this.

You are saving my life! I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother and Sexually abused by my uncle and other men as an infant, toddler, school age child. Gang raped as a teen then beaten by first husband. I didn’t know why I go into rages, or feel the urge to run, or feel like I’m drowning with water in my ears. I’m 70 and because of you, I might just have the last decade or so of my life in some semblance of peace. 💕💕💕💕

I was diagnosed with CPTSD, and I never even knew i had it because I believed i was normal. But apparently, im far from normal. It has ruined my entire life. For those of you who have CPTSD, I want you to know we are worthy of love and deserve to love love back . ❤

I've learned that sleeping on the floor gives me the pressure sensation of hug or firm contact.

Why does my therapist suggest going out & making new friends is easy? I don’t think people who’ve never lived through abuse truly gets it. I appreciate you & thank you for helping me not feel alone or … dare I say it? … crazy!

My dogs are the best for comfort. I can feel the stress leaving my body as I pet them. Pitbull cuddles will change your life.

I was sexually abused as a child. I watched lots of physical, verbal and emotional abuse occur for a majority of my childhood. I was raped in college and strangled by my ex boyfriend who passed away from an overdose a year ago. You are saving my life. I am going to heal I know I will and because of you—you have given me endless hope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🤍 I am 28 years old and the future is looking pretty bright.

I do just the same: I became clumsy 😮 I drop things, I pronounce words wrong, I hit myself in furnitures, stumble to sticks and logs in the Woods with my dog...

"Waking up emotionally disregulated - that's called and emotional flash back" OMG! That happens to me all the damned time.

Horribly abused as a child. No help was in sight. At 71 I have had 40 years of therapy. But these videos have done so much for me.yes very did regulated. And always seemed calm when upset. Let narcissists take advantage of me relentlessly...etc, etc, etc. the Grace of God is the reason I'm alive.

My survival instinct got wounded very early on as I was a neglected child who was left to fend for herself in infancy. I still get triggered and dysregulated. I expect danger even when there is no danger. For example when dealing with other people I expect to not be treated with fairness and kindness. For example , calling a utility company , or anyone on the phone that I feel has some sort of “ authority “ or “ in a powerful position“ . I feel frozen when having to make decisions and hiding has affected my ability to make a living . I’m trying to get myself out of this situation. God help us all with CPTSD.

Doctor's offices. I straight out disassociate. I only remember bits & pieces of what they said, because I'm concentrating so hard on being "normal" in front of the doctor when I'm feeling anything but normal. I'm fighting running out the door.

You deserve a Nobel peace prize. I've ruined so many personal relationships from dysregulated emotions and burned a lot of bridges. I'm so ashamed. People out there hate me now

I lie on my bed and get my dogs to push right up against my back and drape their bodies over me. I am so blessed yo have 6 rescue dogs, they are my lifeline.

One massive tip for all of you out there - Over the years, I've narrowed down the single largest correlator with my dysregulation. It sounds obvious but - sleep. The cliche is true. A bad night's sleep brings out the same cranky, emotional, overwhelmed child it did when we were little. Without fail, my lowest moments were in the evenings after days when I simply didn't get enough hours. Postpone that talk for another day. Problems can exist in the background without ruining the foreground.

As a child , after a beating I was never comforted .. I slept in terror. As a senior adult , I can’t sleep well . I need something to press on me or something to wrap Around .. as a young person, I was addicted to sex as a way to get comfort . But I found in my 30’s I could not connect with anyone intimately . I’ve been in my marriage for 25 yrs now and I do not want intimacy I just want hugs and comforting and friendship ..I love being with my spouse , going places , or just staying home and watching tv together or eating together and laughing together ..

I have an eye appointment to get new glasses. I have to psyche myself up even for an eye appointment. I’m worthy, I’m allowed to have decent eyesite, I deserve decent vision and flattering frames. I used to beat myself up for feeling this way. What’s wrong with me that I slink into the vision care store and apologize for existence, then end up so disregulated that I leave with a pair of glasses that I don’t actually like because one of the sales people suggested it. Paying too much because they recommend 10 different special things I don’t need. Thanks to your program I’m now spending less money and feeling more worthy, getting what I want from these exchanges. I’m not “cured” but I know I can do normal things. I deserve it.