How to Stop Taking Things Personally
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Published 2024-01-31
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Do you take things personally? Do you get offended easily? Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure out which person is the "Jerk"? Taking things personally is a super complex relational strategy we use to protect ourselves when we feel threatened, but it leaves us feeling isolated and dramatic. In this video we're going to learn 3 steps to stop taking things personally, and how to stop taking offense.
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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All Comments (21)
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One of the most important lessons you can learn in life: how people treat you says more about them than it does about you.
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1. Clarity 2. Boundaries 3. Solid foundation of self-worth ❤❤❤
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One of the best things I have ever heard on this topic is that “what other people think of you is none of your business”
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I felt ATTACKED by Youtube for recommending this video to me. Then I started watching it and I now am FURIOUS that you are so unquestionably right so yeah I guess I needed it. No joke, this is one of my favourite YouTube channels ever 💛
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“Don’t believe everything you THINK” is truly the root of most issues we humans have. We DO let our brain talk TO US WHEN WE SHOULD BE TELLING OUR BRAIN WHAT TO THINK.
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It takes an entire lifetime to cultivate these qualities.
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This is one of my biggest weaknesses. It all goes back to being bullied in elementary school.
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I saw a video that was prefaced by something like "How do you take things less personally?" and their response was along the lines of like "Assuming people are judging you/ thinking horrible things about you is actually you judging THEM and making them out to be potentially much meaner individuals than they are. So now I just assume everyone is kind, and if they act in a way that contradicts that I assume it's because they have something going on in their lives, forgive them, and move on." That was really eye opening to me to hear it from that perspective. Assuming people are thinking the worst of you is, in a way, judgement of them. Lets believe that people are kind, and try to be kind ourselves. <3
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One of the best things I have recently learned is how complex PTSD is rooted in toxic shame. Really trying to overcome that and not take things personally.
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"Your core beliefs show up in your assumptions. "...... brilliant!
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There's probably a line between projecting,assuming/taking things personally and actually not agreeing or liking how someone talks to you
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People are rude, attack you on purpose, apologize later, do it again, and the cycle continues... best thing to do os let it roll off. Be confident in yourself, know yourself well enough to know if you should change for the better or not, and monitor patterns in people. There's always room for improvement, but boundaries are also crucial.
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Secure self comes when your busy doing what you love and you have comforting people around you not when you’re tired and lonely.
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I have always had the habit of taking everything personally. Even if I enter a room and people are laughing at something, I assuem they were making fun of me.
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I just want to accept myself as I am
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Thank you for this remarkable info. In the first 5 min. I began weeping because I have searched for this info my entire life in vain (I'm 67). I realized my life will be changed forever because of this 20 min. lesson. I've heard a million times "Don't take it personally," but zero instructions on how to do that!! That's like telling an alcoholic: Just don't drink. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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It takes a lot of courage to admit that we are hyper sensitive and we take things personally I have struggled with this immensely I have had so many jobs because the moment I feel unappreciated or threatened I just quit but not before creating chaos I have slowly learned to have an easygoing attitude That is your best ally People sometimes will use a harsh tone, or say things that can be aggressive and it’s important to remember that if you maintain your composure you portray professionalism, assertiveness & self control There’s a time & place for everything But the key is to truly walk away and take a moment to fully analyze & assess situations that trigger us I never used to hold back & every time I felt hurt or felt any negative emotion I would lash out at the person I have burned every relationship due to my impulsive behavior and I have lost many career opportunities because I took things personally I wish that I worked on this years ago Now that I’m a mother I have to ensure to teach my daughter how to respond to uncomfortable situations
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My sister has always put me down with her jealous issues ,criticised me so I keep her out of my life. Some people are just bullies cause they have issue and it's best to keep away from constant attacks. I'm happy I do not have to cope with her anymore.
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As a person who uses social media a lot, this was sooooo needed and sooooo timely to see this
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Just wanted to say that whenever I'm in distress, I'll just click on any of your recent videos and the music, positivity and your knowledge makes me feel better instantly =). Thank you for all that you do.
