Surprised Your Cat Doesn’t Like to Cuddle? Here’s What You Need to Know

I adopted a kitten from the shelter. He…just never was a cuddler. He always wanted to be where I was, and would follow me from room to room, but he wasn’t a lap cat. It worked for us—I loved him to death. He lived for 15 years before cancer took him away from me. It’s been 20 years since and I still miss him.😢

My cat likes to sit next to me and be petted for long periods of time, but she will never curl up on my lap. She was dumped off at my niece's farm and was covered with ticks when discovered in the barn. I think her traumatic experiences as a kitten are the reasons for her lack of desire for intimate contact.

We have had several cats that were very reserved, I had to be very patient and wait for them to come to me for pets. It took time but they came to me when they wanted loves. One we have now will not sit in my lap but gets up on the sofa and lays next to me. Sometimes she will tap my arm to let me know it's time for head rubs. I do have one girl who loves to get in my lap so I can enjoy the time with her cuddling. Cats are wonderful creatures to share your life with.

Some Cats don't want to admit their warm devotion. My black-fur, 9 year old, George, likes to wrap around my feet -not sit on me. I had a Tabby, Penny, who would sit behind my head, on chair when I watched TV,....at times, during Winter, both would join on my bed -other times, sleep where each wanted too. Glad to have Cats.

Have had 6 cats and only one liked cuddles on laps and in our arms. One, upon turning 14 yrs old!, suddenly allowed belly rubs !

Our female cat came to lay on our chests when still a little kitten. Getting older she got a bit more reserved, no more laying on chest or lap. However she sleeps on a chair next to my bed, or in my wife’s office on a sofa. She always rubs her head on our legs, weaving between legs. When in the mood, she loves to be scratched on her head and lightly stroked on her back and chest. Her front paws can be touched and held. Usually she lays on the floor when she likes to be touched, or just touching my hand with her head when moving next to me. She also blinks slowly, mostly when I blink slowly as well. She never likes to be lifted or held in the arms.

Not all cats like to cuddle, we just leave them be. They're friendly and like to be around us, they just don't want to be quite that close. Some of those have been cats that weren't so well socialized as kittens. Others have been cats that were very well socialized. We had one little guy that was always with us wherever we were but didn't really care for pets or cuddles and did not at all want to be picked up. Sometimes he'd sleep on the bed, down by the foot. But usually he'd find a comfortable spot a few feet away from the bed. But he loved being close to us, he was hardly ever more than 10 feet away.

I got my cat when she was 2 1/2 months old as me being a mom for the first time to a kitten she was born in a shelter in Long Beach California. She was fostered out by a foster parent until she was adopted out and that was me when my brother saw her for the first time when she was a baby he said she’s gonna be a good cat trust me. She’s not a bad cat. There’s times things she’s done as a kitten and that’s a kitten so yes, she had torn up the bottom of my chair and bottom of my boxspring on my bed, but she did not scratch up anything anything on the outside of the furniture and she’s been doing really well with that she is now four years old when she was a kitten she was all over me and she would let me hold her like a baby at times. Have a lot of pictures of that when I first got her, she turned four on May 5 of 2024, but when she was growing older from a kitten to a young older kitten, she tried to get in my lap when she was younger, but my belly is in the way I have a couch that pulls me up so she has no room to lay on my lap. She tries so hard to do that but now nowadays she just puts her front hind legs on my lab when the rest is on the arm of the couch that’s how she tries to get as close as she can to me, sometimes she’ll lay next to me crawl up in a ball but she hasn’t done that in a long time. She will sit next to me, but I really wanted to cuddle cat but I do love her dearly and she is my baby.

Mine is part ragdoll. I adopted him as an adult. He DEMANDS attention and cuddles EVERY time he walks into the house; that's quite a few times each day 😁 Literally packs a sad if it doesn't happen 😾 He often sleeps on his rug on my bed but around 3/4 am he DEMANDS a snuggle INSIDE the bed, as close as he can press against me; purring like crazy 😸 That lasts about half an hour and then he's back on his rug; except.. I'm awake now. 😐 Some nights I close me bedroom door so I can catch up on sleep. 😁

Mine is a former feral, and isn't a cuddler. She likes pets and sleeps with me, and makes sure I don't fall into the toilet and checks for assassins and spiders in the shower.

They are just like people, some like hugs, some aren't as comfortable with it. I have 2 cats, 1 wants to be on me a lot, the other 1, sometimes. When he's had enough he leaves. DON'T force it! And don't tease!

I started to do the hug a day method. Every day I would pick him up and hold for as long as he wants and in no time he was a cuddler at night and loves having interaction but not lap hugs. But that's good for now.

My Mia is a rescue from FLA that was transported up the coast. I have had her for 5 years and she very slowly became a cuddler, but only on hr terms. Everything is on her terms. I am her person and everyone else has to keep their distance until she sees them a lot and only then will she come into the room while others are there and only if I’m there. She is such a vulnerable love bug that I spoil her because she trusts only me, and I’m Ok with spoiling her all the time.

My boy was never a cuddler, nor does he ever make biscuits. He follows me and loves going downstairs, like the playroom area.

I had one cat that was a total stage 5 clinger, She would have been happy with me carrying her around for her entire life or being on my lap. Another cat that lived till 17 was on my lap about 5 times, she liked to lay resting against my feet or between my feet while sitting in a chair or reclining. They are all different.

have a Russian Blue that 'adopted' us and refused to go back to his original home. Came from an environment where there was multiple young children and a cat hating partner. He snuggles up on cold nights, is kept indoors of a nighttime and generally has his own way. Definitely very independent cat though. Was very different from my former tamed feral tabby cat who just wouldn't let me out of his sight and was always waiting for me when I got home from work.

My 4 year (ish) old girl i got as a rescue 2 years ago, was more of an “in same room/within arms reach” cat until early this year when i rescued a feral kitten, now she likes to spend much more time with me (both by herself and with the kitten) and is honestly like a different cat. I thought she was fine as an only cat, but i think i was mistaken and she was depressed. She had spent most of her life and a sanctuary with lots of other cats prior to living with me. I hadn’t had a single cat for any length of time prior to this and likely never will again. Minimum 2.

My girl is a big cuddle bug and lap warmer. Her brother likes the night shift. My boy loves being picked up and hugged being big and plushy. My girl doesn’t like to be held.

My little Deja doesn't cuddle. She just wants to be beside me and petted. She loves to get on my bed, roll over, paws up and be petted.

I had my cat since she was six weeks old, she had been known to sit on my shoulder though not too much of a cuddler even then, she also used to eat food I prepared for her, chicken, turkey with eggs and cheese thenby the time she was about eight months, somebody told her that her food is supposed to come in cans so she stopped eating my cooking. She's an extremely fussy cat though she eats mostly canned and grain free dry food, she does not like catnip except in some o her toys. (my house looks like I have at least four toddlers) she does oblige me once in a while with eating a couple of leaves of catnip when her grass is not yet finished growing. She does rub her head against my leg and does come and sit with me for a while and lets me pet her head, she'd even sleep beside me on her special spot once in a while. She's the only cat I ever had who is not a cuddler but that's how she is, she's OK otherwise, she'll be 11 in July. I love her regardless.