Parenting Reality Check: Are We Meeting Our Ideals?

"I can do anything when I'm a man" I can see he felt the kenergy.

My grandpa just told me that I couldn't be a good mother if I would raise children with another women (and other queerphobic stuff I don't want to repeat). I immediately went to your channel to feel better. Thank you so much for showing me how wrong my grandfather is❤

I think the one exception to "will you force your child to do sports" is probably swimming lessons, because that's a life skill and about safety

I once showed a picture of my cat on my phone to a toddler I hadn't realised was raised with zero screens. The little one was fascinated. Kept following me around after that asking for more kitty pictures. Not sure he realized it could be used for something else but he seemed very fond of the cat pictures machine 😂

My dads first phrase he mastered as a toddler was "sticky hands", because he despises the feeling of unclean hands. He has grown up to be a very capable, balanced person who loves being outdoors and camping (used to be a scout) and spending time in his workshop etc. He also relies on a variety of gloves, toiletries and cleaning supplies for these activities. What I'm saying is: Rupert might just find a passion for "dirty" things when he figures out what he needs to still be comfortable in such settings 😊

We flew from Australia to the UK with our daughter who was 2yr4m and we didn’t use the iPad with her or anything. Sooo many ppl said “oh yeah but it’s different coz she’s a girls so more able to sit calmly and do craft and other activities”. I resent that!! No! It’s because that’s how we’ve parented her! We’ve worked hard to foster her brain and her skills and her interaction with the world. She’s 9 now and obviously has technology and it’s fine! She’s well traveled, well adjusted, and an amazing young person. ❤ you both are doing amazing! xx

We have a one year old, but our screen time rule is that its always a family activity. That way its “we’re done watching tv” not “YOU’RE done”.

I feel like Toy Story is a good one to show to older children, as it would ve helpful to discuss feelings around jealousy or envy. I never thought the character Andy was overly rough with his toys, just very enthusiastic and really engaged with his imaginative play. ❤

While I don't remember specifics, I do remember country walks being miserable as a small child. You're just the wrong height. You can't see the pretty views, the waterfalls are loud and everything smells of sheep poo because you're closer to the ground, and like you both said, it's cold, wet, and muddy and it's impossible to be comfortable. I'm glad there's no forcing these activities with Rupert!

We went in with a parenting style: treat our kids like human beings. They're not objects, they're not "problems", they're not possessions: They're people. Small people. Who need assistance in getting to be big people, at which point our job is done. And they've grown up to be pretty decent people, who are tolerant where tolerance is appropriate, which does not include right-wing a-holes or the patriarchy. People always commented on how well behaved they were. We never used any physical punishment, it isn't necessary if you treat the child as an actual person, and give them all the experiences they need to live in society. (I certainly broke the cycle on that one...) One of the biggest jokes though, is that my wife and I never needed to discuss things to agree. Our kids soon learned that trying to get a different decision out of the other parent was impossible - we always said the same things. Oh how we laughed.

I'm 25 and my mother STILL touches me without permission so I'm bloody glad your kid doesn't have to live with that. I love this channel you're such wonderful role-models.

I was never blessed to have children, but I have been richly blessed to have infants becoming adults in my life. (I’m 74 now.) Among them my godson who was also raised in a Montessori home where I was blessed to live with them for nearly all of the first three years of his life. Until this very day our love is powerful, constant and joyful. I am bisexual. I also have a goddaughter who is the child of two lesbians. I was there at her birth and was the first to hold her due to complications with her birth mother. Oh my. How we love each other! The most significant fact about love that I have learned in my life is that love has no biological connection. Love has no gender. Love has no sexuality. I spent 20 years in relationships with women. Now I have been married to my husband for 25 years. Although I was never blessed with my own children, I have had life-long relationships with several of them. The absolutely most SHOCKING thing I was confronted with regarding infants, toddlers, children is that they are COMPLETELY themselves!! ALWAYS. As adults we may fondly say, “Just like her mother!” Or, “She loves to swim, just like her uncle.” Those comments may be made because we selectively choose to identify them in those ways. But the harsh unrelenting truth is that every living individual is absolutely unique. Suck it up.

Ballet teacher here! Basic ballet education training starts at 3-years. If you want to teach younger you have to do early years training which is additional. Many teachers don’t take on the additional early years training as it’s a lot more anatomy & development (plus things like potty training come into play). I’m so glad Rupert is enjoying ballet!

It is so beautiful and valuable that Rupert can communicate his feelings in such a concise way (at 2 1/2 no less!) I know the adults I grew up around would have found this supremely annoying because it “makes their live more difficult”. But people shouldn’t have kids with the sole intention of fitting them into their lives easily. You aren’t raising your child so that your day runs smoothly. You’re raising him so that in 10,15,20 years he can approach a friend or partner and say “I feel __ because of _____” and that’s invaluable! There are grown adults who can’t do it now because they never learned it from the people in their lives. Exhibit A that you are great parents!❤

I know it’s a US tv show and it’s old, but Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood is really wholesome and was purposely filmed without lots of cut scenes to keep kids from getting overstimulated. He talks a lot about feelings and social interactions. It’s feel-good tv for sure! (I will say he does cover some more difficult concepts though like divorce, gun violence, etc. but in child-friendly ways. Very early on in the show’s run he even talked about assassination after Robert Kennedy was assassinated. But mainly to explain to kids why their parents were upset.) The songs from the show are great too. “It’s You I Like” is very wholesome.

Maybe you could do a video on "Gentle parenting" as a concept cause I think there is some confusion about what it means as a theory vs how it is depicted on tiktok and social media. I love the montessori method videos you have done and before researching more I thought gentle parenting was in the same vein but it definitely seems more directed than people are making it out to be.

Glad that Rupert has the same media habits as me - just rewatching the same things over and over again 😂

If I ever have kids one day, I want to raise them like you've raised Rupert. It's so important for kids (and all people) to have bodily autonomy, learn to self soothe, not be forced to pursue someone else's ideas for them and instead allow them to pursue their own interests, etc. It seems like you've done an amazing job of raising a little person and I'm not British so I don't use this word really but I feel like Rupert is a very dapper lad.

Just a small perspective. We have been successful in limited our 2.5 years tablet use to only travel days. They are most interested in watch movies (since that is limited at home). They understand that the tablet and games are a special event for travel. All I am saying that while it might be a slipper slope you can put up barriers along the slopes.

Warning: my teen child, who also was not raised watching commercial TV now blames me for not understanding jokes or references with his friends. 😮 Didn’t see that coming! Also, he has now discovered fast food (which I had managed to keep him ignorant of). Great job with all you’re doing with Rupert, just know it may last forever.❤