Zelensky Likes to Slobba Zucchini

About Zelensky Likes to Slobba Zucchini

My name is Volodymyr Zelensky. I am the President of Ukraine - the most corrupt nation in all of Europe. I like to pretend I am "Ukrainian" but I am actually a Jew who grew up speaking Russian. Due to the fact I am Jewish and hate Slavic peoples, I let all my fellow Jews flee Ukraine and avoid being conscripted into the Ukrainian Army while I forbade every Ukrainian male aged 16-60 from leaving the country and then press ganged them into service so they can go die at the front. I also like to hang out with my fellow Jews Sean Penn, Ben Stiller, Antony Blinken, Janet Yellen, and Merrick Garland. I particularly like Janet since her and Joe Biden gave me 130 billion dollars in US taxpayer money - more than the Marshall Plan that rebuilt Europe after WW2 when adjusted for inflation. I enjoy moving millions of this money into my offshore bank accounts that were exposed in The Pandora Papers. I also enjoy doing lots of cocaine and taking my wife on shopping sprees in Paris. Slobba Zucchini!